About Robert "Keith" Cartwright
I am a friend of God, a dad, a writer, speaker, and an advocate for healing-centered relationships.
RKC's Most Recent Article
Build Relationships On Mutual Choice, Not Obligation.
I recently heard Seth Godin say about business, "The moment you start treating your customers as captives, they begin to make other plans." Reading that, I started thinking of his words in the context of relationships beyond seller-buyer connections.
One of the greatest mistakes we can make in a relationship is to begin acting as if the other person has nowhere else to go. Not necessarily physically. But emotionally.
We stop pursuing. We stop listening. We stop wondering. We stop noticing. We begin assuming they'll always be there because they've always been there. And that's a dangerous assumption.
Healthy relationships are never built on captivity. They're built on choice.
Every day our spouses, friends, children, coworkers, and neighbors wake up with the freedom to decide how much of themselves they are willing to invest in the people around them. They may not walk away overnight, but they can slowly withdraw their trust, their vulnerability, their enthusiasm, and their presence.
Long before someone leaves a relationship, they often leave it emotionally. I have certainly been on the giving and receiving of this myself.
The signs are subtle at first. The conversations become shorter. The laughter becomes less frequent. Curiosity gives way to schedule and routine. Time together is only happening because there's no way of getting out of it.
Eventually one or both begin imagining what life might feel like somewhere they are more seen, more heard, or more appreciated.
The opposite is equally true.
When we remember that the people we love are choosing us—not because they have to, but because they want to—we tend to treat them differently.
We ask more questions. We say thank you more often. We start assuming less and appreciating more. We continue building trust instead of tearing it down.
Ironically, the strongest relationships are often the ones where neither person acts entitled to the other's love. They understand their bond isn't built on the absence of choice, but on the daily decision to keep choosing one another.
People don't want to feel trapped. They want to feel treasured. And maybe that's one of the simplest ways to strengthen any relationship: live each day as if the people you love are free to leave.
Not because you're afraid they will.
But because honoring them for choosing you is the surest way to make them forever grateful you are the one they have chosen.
One of the greatest mistakes we can make in a relationship is to begin acting as if the other person has nowhere else to go. Not necessarily physically. But emotionally.
We stop pursuing. We stop listening. We stop wondering. We stop noticing. We begin assuming they'll always be there because they've always been there. And that's a dangerous assumption.
Healthy relationships are never built on captivity. They're built on choice.
Every day our spouses, friends, children, coworkers, and neighbors wake up with the freedom to decide how much of themselves they are willing to invest in the people around them. They may not walk away overnight, but they can slowly withdraw their trust, their vulnerability, their enthusiasm, and their presence.
Long before someone leaves a relationship, they often leave it emotionally. I have certainly been on the giving and receiving of this myself.
The signs are subtle at first. The conversations become shorter. The laughter becomes less frequent. Curiosity gives way to schedule and routine. Time together is only happening because there's no way of getting out of it.
Eventually one or both begin imagining what life might feel like somewhere they are more seen, more heard, or more appreciated.
The opposite is equally true.
When we remember that the people we love are choosing us—not because they have to, but because they want to—we tend to treat them differently.
We ask more questions. We say thank you more often. We start assuming less and appreciating more. We continue building trust instead of tearing it down.
Ironically, the strongest relationships are often the ones where neither person acts entitled to the other's love. They understand their bond isn't built on the absence of choice, but on the daily decision to keep choosing one another.
People don't want to feel trapped. They want to feel treasured. And maybe that's one of the simplest ways to strengthen any relationship: live each day as if the people you love are free to leave.
Not because you're afraid they will.
But because honoring them for choosing you is the surest way to make them forever grateful you are the one they have chosen.
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