​I had a friend text me before the 49ers and Rams playoff game last night. She asked, "who are you rooting for here?" I told her, I'm really just a spectator in this one. But, I would like to see Matthew Stafford - the Rams quarterback - make it to the Super Bowl after the way he endured the Lions for so many years.

For those who aren't football fans - prior to coming to the Rams at the start of this season - a solid team even before Stafford arrived - Stafford spent 12 years with the Detroit Lions.

The Lions, well let's just say they were not as solid over the course of his time there....

Stafford and the Rams won last night. Stafford is indeed going to the Super Bowl.

As I was getting ready for bed after the game, I realized what a bad choice of words 'endured' was. The truth is, Stafford never saw his time with the Lions as a wrong place wrong time situation - something to survive. He always trained hard - he played hard - he always approached his time there like it was exactly his right place and right time moment.

Last night, as they were interviewing him following the victory, he said the same things I always heard him say after a Lions game - which by the way was NEVER a game sending them to the Super Bowl.

He said, I love my teammates. I love where I am. I'm thankful for the chance to play.

I think we all get to moments in life where we think - surely I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time. I know I do. But maybe that feeling has nothing to do with our place. Maybe it has nothing to do with our time. Maybe it has everything to do with our vision. Our attitude.

I went to sleep last night thinking maybe life is about making every moment the right place and right time. Thinking maybe we're to focus more on what we do with our moments than how we feel about them. Because the truth is, if we get to feeling like we're in the wrong place at the wrong time - chances are we'll start acting like it.

In two weeks, we will see Stafford in the Super Bowl. It will be easy for us to think - good for him after what he endured in those tough Detroit days. But Stafford, he'll run on to the field and do exactly what he did in those tough days. He'll play like he's in the right place at the right time.

It's Monday. It's a good day to reflect on where you are. If you're feeling like maybe I'm waking up in the wrong place at the wrong time, maybe the best way to address that feeling is by tackling this day like you are in exactly the right place at exactly the right time.

If you do that, then you will be. You'll be in exactly the right place at exactly the right time.

​When you have young children, it's easy to get focused on a couple of things. It's easy to get caught up wanting to BE their superhero. And it's easy to feel driven to RAISE superheroes.

Both of those are tough assignments in this culture. We live in a culture that creates a lot of competition for a dad who wants to be his kid's superhero. There's Lebron and Brady and Beyonce and Beiber and a million other pop culture heroes that look better in posters on my kids' walls than I do. And - all of these posters paint pictures of superheroes seemingly making larger than life impacts on the world. It's hard raising superheroes who believe they can keep up with those tough acts to follow.

Some days I fear we've lost our way a bit as parents in this superhero culture. I know there are days I sure do.

There's so much pressure to do big things, to make big impacts, to CHANGE the world. We eye our own heroes out there, center stage, stars of mass movements and businesses and churches and political parties. We want our kids to see us re-writing the world like we see those big stars doing it.

But you know, when I reflect on it, when I reflect on what the world needs today more than anything that comes from those hero led mass movements - the world needs more empathy and kindness and understanding and acceptance - we'll just call it what it is - the world needs more love.

I think about that - what if all of us mere mortals simply looked at the people around us today with a longing to better understand them? What if we approached them with hearts driven to accept them instead of searching for the one or two reasons that will justify keeping our distance from them? What if we approached the people around us with a sureness they belong in our world and not with the blindness that sees no way they could?

Or should...

My guess is if we treated people that way today, the world would change. Like total home makeover change. My guess is if our kids saw us leading the way on that miracle makeover, they might put a poster of us on a wall in their room. (Or at least carry a snapshot of us on their iPhones).

Any maybe, just maybe, we'd all be raising the greatest generation of superheroes ever.

I took the boys to see The American Underdog yesterday. I found myself getting surprisingly emotional. (Allergies, boy. Allergies).

I think it's because the movie reflects one of the greatest truths I've come to discover the last several years. When someone believes in you more than you've ever believed in yourself - that is lifechanging.

Life. Changing.

I looked up the definition for 'underdog.' What I found: a competitor thought to have little chance of winning a fight or contest.

So by that definition, once someone starts thinking someone IS going to win - the underdog is no longer an underdog.

And I can testify - an underdog absorbs all the power of that upside down thinking.

Several years ago, I lined up for a race. I think it was the first race at which I'd ever had a meaningful goal in mind. It may have been one of the first times I'd ever had a meaningful goal in life period - I don't know. But I know this - in the back of my mind - I was thinking.. there is no way I can do this.

Before the start of the race, a friend came alongside me and said, I'm running this race with you. I'm running it and you are going to accomplish that goal. In one of the strongest ways ever, I felt the power of someone thinking I could do something that inside I didn't think I could do.

I felt the power of an underdog no longer feeling like an underdog.

I accomplished that goal that day - side by side with a friend reminding me every step of the way that I would do it. And I walked away from that finish line with a life truth I'm sure I'll never let go of. One that continues to tug at me every day.

Life is not a you thing.

Life is not a me thing.

Life - this life thing we are all doing - it is a WE thing.

In the movie yesterday, the emotions were triggered every single time someone believed in Kurt Warner in a way that was more powerful than he could ever believe in himself. When his wife believed in him, when his coaches believed in him, when former teammates believed in him, when the dude he worked with stocking grocery shelves believed in him - I had tears.

I had tears because I realized this wasn't an underdog story at all. This was a life story.

This was the story of just how beautiful life can be for all of us when we discover life is not a me thing - or a you thing - life is a we thing.

If we ever fully embraced that truth - there would be no more underdogs.

There would likely still be a lot of tears, but the underdogs would all be winning.

​We have this natural instinct to run from things when they get tough. It's part of the fear response that's wired into us. Running is one way I run from the hard stuff the world throws at me. But more and more - I don't do that by running FROM - I do it by running TO.

The other morning, while I was running, I stopped and took the picture below. I shared it here. And several dozen of you were stopped by the image as you scrolled along - just like I was on my run.

My way of saying - 'oh my God that is beautiful' - was to stop and take a picture.

Your way was to stop and comment - 'that's beautiful.'

Either way, we all had a chance to be awed by a small sliver of this world.

I have well-meaning running friends who will tell me, 'you know, if you didn't stop and take so many pictures, you'd get done a lot quicker.' And more and more, my answer is - whether I say it or think it - getting done isn't my desire.

The pictures are.

More and more, running is my escape from the big bad world - not because I literally remove myself from the big and the bad - but because I allow running to take me into the more gentle - and beautiful - slices of this world. Because out there among the big and the bad is always the more gentle and beautiful.

The pictures - they are more than a pause, a stop for time to stand on the barrier islands of this world, they are a reminder. A reminder that when we run by the beautiful slivers of this world, the slivers that feed our souls, if our souls don't feel fed, it's not because the slivers weren't there. It's because we were too busy leaving the world, not immersing ourselves in it.

The world can be overwhelming. Sometimes the answer is to stare into the eyes of something less daunting.

A flower. A bird. A lake. The sky.

The world can be overwhelming. Sometimes the answer is to simply stop and listen.

A creek. A plane. Each other.

Sometimes the best fear response isn't to run from. It's to run to.

Sometimes the world does feel big.

Today, I encourage you, go find a place where the world is small.

​So, most of my life I've been a bit of a weather nerd. When this nerdiness overcame me as a kid, there wasn't much public science to follow to support my passion. All you had really was a local weatherperson who you just knew wasn't doing much more than sticking her or his head out the window and looking due west minutes before coming on the evening news and offering a 'forecast.'

But today - today we have weather models. And lots of them. It's awesome. These scientific models instantaneously read all elements of the atmosphere to tell us precisely what is going to happen in the weather.

Or not....

I went to bed last night reading some updates from a few 'experts' who translate these models for us. And last night, these models were saying no snow in our area this weekend. Reading some of the comments on these translations, you'd have thought someone was delivering news far more tragic than 'no snow.' Folks were personally attacking the tanslator for the output of a computer. 🤷‍♂️

Then this morning, same models - same 'experts' - the output is different. Those same models now say yes to snow. And in the comments, the translator is being hailed as a hero.

I'm reminded how much we long to have scripts in our lives. How we long to follow them as we search for the safety of certainty. Even though, over and over, we have all been personally reminded one way or another in our lives - there is NO certainty. Especially in the weather!! 🤷‍♂️

The most dangerous application of this longing - this desire to have life scripted as much as possible - is when we get to believing there is only one script - and everyone should be following it.

I think we have institutions - formal and informal - that recruit us with the simple selling point that there IS a script. There's a structure we get to follow. There is certainty.

I think there are relationships we enter into because there is a bit of a commonly accepted structure and definition to them.

I think there are jobs we take because of their structure and defintion.

I think our public education system is built largely on structure and defintion.

I think our churches are all about structure and definition.

I don't think structure and definition are inherently harmful. It can actually be good. The harm comes when we start clinging to the structure at all costs without ever questioning the merits of the structure. Structure can make robots out of our brains, while rendering our minds and our hearts and our souls obsolete.

Seth Godin says, "The thing that gets us stuck isn't us. It's the script we've decided is our only option."

Because if you spend too much time clinging to a structure, you CAN come to believe that your structure is the ONLY structure.

You can come to believe people who aren't following YOUR structure are bad people, at the expense of considering maybe you have a shaky structure. Or at least, you fail to consider it's not the only structure.

Sometimes the things we cling too tightest in the name of certainty and safety, are the things that make others feel as uncertain and unsafe as they've ever felt.

That's not always with evil intent. In fact, it's often because we're clinging to structures when maybe we should be clinging to one another.

Structures can sometimes be good guidance, they don't always make good humans. 

​Yesterday I was out running. And I shared that while I was running God spoke this question to me: "what's the first question I'll ask you when we meet face to face?"

I know that question was from God because it simply is not a question I would choose to ask myself while I'm out running. Running is often my escape; it's my light in a heavy world. That question was not light.

And I also know it was from God because it's a question that would not go away. It just went on asking...

As I was thinking about it, I reflected on the first question God ever asked man. In the book of Genesis, Adam is in the garden hiding from God - in shame - he and Eve had just turned away from their relationship with God. And God asked Adam, "where are you?"

Now, if you believe God is the God I believe God to be, you don't believe for a second God didn't know where Adam was. So why God - why ask the question?

I think sometimes God leaves a question stuck in us so we'll be inclined to live out the answer. He wanted Adam to always be hearing - where are you - so Adam would be inclined to forever be asking himself - where am I?

Maybe so Adam would be forever inclined to live out the answer - I'm with you God.

So what question was God trying to leave stuck in me yesterday? That's what I spent my day pondering. And I just kept coming back to one question: who are you?

I decided in many ways that wasn't a question at all. It was a reminder that God knows my heart - he knows my heart's blessings and its curses.

Over a year ago I had dinner with a buddy. I told him, from this point forward I will be the real me. Authentic will be my word. And I confess, that has been a struggle. Because - in the name of honoring my vow of authenticity - I will tell you that authentic has not always been my strong point. Because authentic requires radical honesty, and honesty has not always been my strength.

I've spent a large part of my life lying to others out of fear. Lying to myself out of shame. Lying to God in hopes of somehow measuring up. And that - more than anything else - has made relationships very difficult for me.

So really, when I told my buddy this would be the year of authenticity - it wasn't me craving a life of honesty - it was me craving relationship.

With others, and with God.

I read something just before I went to bed last night. And like the question God put on my heart - this page in this book - this paragraph - was not an accidental crossing of paths.

In her book Dopamine Nation, Anna Lembke says:

"Mutual honesty precludes shame and presages an intimacy explosion, a rush of emotional warmth that comes from feeling deeply connected to others when we're accepted despite our flaws. It is not our perfection but our willingness to work together to remedy our mistakes that creates the intimacy we crave."

God asked me that question yesterday, not because he wanted an answer, but because he wanted to give one. He wanted to remind me that some of my deepest longings in life don't require me to change as much as they are asking me to be real about who I am.

I trust God sees that work going on. I trust his question was far more encouragement than scolding.

And I trust God knows, more than ever, when I arrive at his doorstep or gate or at the head of his trail - whatever the entrance to his home might look like - I trust he knows that when he does ask me - "who are you?" - oh how I believe with all my heart he already knows my answer.

I am yours, I will say. I am intimately yours.

​One indicator of my spiritual growth over the last several years is the question I ask myself in the middle of a conflict. I used to ask God, what is it you want me to do in this moment to help that OTHER PERSON see the light. Oh, how I would foolishly pray - help me respond here God in a way that helps that OTHER PERSON see things more like you.

(Because of course, God, I am an expert on how you see things...🙄).

Today, not perfectly - but I'm working at it, I ask God in those moments, what are you trying to teach me here God?

Today, I realize more than ever, God is using me mostly to change ME, not anyone else. In every moment - peace and conflict - God is teaching me how to better love everyone, because when I get better at loving everyone, God's desire to change every one catches fire.

There are a lot of conflicts going on out there right now. You don't have to step too far into them to literally feel the pressure folks are putting on one another to change. Change their minds. Change their hearts. Change the way they do a lot of things.

It's not so much the pressure itself that's discouraging. It's the way it's sometimes applied. We can get so passionate about the change we want to see outside of us that the person inside of us can turn ugly and mean and hurtful.

We can get so passionate about the change outside of us that we overlook the possibility that the greatest change might come when we consider the changes we can make inside ourselves.

I've come to believe that God has the power with a snap of a finger or the pointing of a staff to end these 'things' that draw us into conflict. So why doesn't he?

I think it's because God's project isn't those things. God's project is me.

I think God knows it's when things don't go MY way I am best positioned to consider a little more closely HIS way. I think God knows when I get frustrated by the things in life, I'll eventually start considering what God's trying to do with the ME in this life.

Things always get slippery when I start wondering what God wants me to do to change that person over there.

But things can never go wrong when I start wondering what God is trying to do to change me.

What are you up to with your project today, God? I'm ready to change. 

​I'm tired this morning. The result of back to back nights of watching some of the best NFL playoff football I've ever watched. Games coming down to the last minute. Or in the case of the final game of the weekend last night, the last 13 seconds...

There's a lot of talk this morning about the ending of the Bills and Chiefs game. Overtime rules. Monday morning quarterbacks second guessing the Bills coaches about a kickoff. But I'm going to tell you what won that game for the Chiefs.

It was a look.

The Bills had just scored what looked like the winning touchdown. The Bills coaches and players were celebrating, while the Chiefs players faces were overcome with the agony of defeat.

Well, all but one of them that is.

As the camera found Patrick Mahomes on the sideline - the Chiefs quarterback - they found him picking up his helmet and headed for the field. And it struck me as I watched him - this crazy fool still believes they are going to win this game.

There is only 13 seconds left on the clock. He needs to drive his team way further than anyone should be able to go in 13 seconds. And it's written all over his face - that's exactly what he's going to go out there and do.

His look wasn't forced. It wasn't painted on because that's what the leader of the team's face is supposed to look like. No, his look said he actually beleived it. His look said this game isn't over until those 13 seconds are gone.

Any of you who are tired this morning know that's exactly what happened. Mahomes did lead the team down the field. He did lead his team to overtime and eventually to victory.

Listen, that guy is an athletic freak of nature. Both quarterbacks on that field last night are. But his athleticism would have been no more helpful to the team than mine if he didn't believe 13 seconds was plenty of time. And yes, trust me I know, the thought of me at quarterback is a scary thought!!

It's Monday. Maybe your life is up against a situation this week that feels like there is only 13 seconds left on the clock. But as the camera finds you ready to tackle it, what is the look on your face? What will we see as you walk on to the field of that challenge.

Because be sure - it starts with that look. Every time. It's a look that's either overwhelmed with the agony of defeat, or it's a look that says the clock doesn't say zero yet, and that is all the heck I need to know...

March down the field this week. You can't see me, but my look says I absolutely believe you will.

​Have you ever had someone tell you that something you said or did made them smile? Have you ever witnessed yourself making someone smile? If your answer is yes to either or both, I hope you felt the full magnitude of the gift you gave that someone. Because I've come to believe, there is NO bigger gift in life than a smile.

I shared the quote I've included here today from Dr. Delahooke in a training I led last week. Alot of the folks in the training work with young people, so part of my motive was to help them do that work in the healthiest way possible. But I also had another motive; maybe even a bigger one.

The joy we long for as babies and young children - a longing that gets wired into our brains - it's not a childhood thing. It's a human thing.

I think most everyone has a memory of a baby's smile. If you have children of your own, you know how many hours you spent or are spending trying to 'turn that frown upside down'. Here's what we need to know about those smiles - they come in response to feeling safe and loved, not in response to something we said or did or gave.

Because the reality is, if a child doesn't feel safe and loved, nothing we say or do or give will matter. In fact, outside of safety, those things can be harmful. If a child - or human - doesn't feel safe and loved - there will be no smiles.

There's a scripture in the bible in 2 Timothy that says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind”

I think about that scripture a lot these days. I think about the power we have to show up in the various fears in each other's lives - to show up with love - not to scold each other's fears but to hold them. Hold them until smiles emerge - like a baby's smile.

Our entire human body is wired to negotiate a calmness in us, a fearlessness. Right now, every one of our bodies is taking a reading of everything going on around us to accomplish one common human purpose.

Safety. A safety that makes us smile.

In the earliest days of our lives, we start looking around for a someone to help us get to that smile. In the earliest days of our lives, we are wired to see fearlessness and smile as the result of a loving connection with someone.

That wiring never leaves us, but I am afraid we are trying to abandon the wiring. I'm afraid we're turning to some things instead of some ones for smiles, some things that can never deliver the kind of smile we were wired to find in one another. I'm afraid we're trying to scream the fears out of one another and not hold them. I'm afraid the frowns of humanity don't disturb us as much as they once did; I'm afraid we really DO NOT know the full magnitude of the gift of a smile.

But there is no greater gift. None. We are wired that way. From the earliest seconds of our lives we are wired to find our greatest joy from someone showing up - reminding us we are not made for fear but for love - the kind of love that makes us smile.

When a human needs help, the first thing we should increase is joy. Since the earliest seconds of our lives, it's the help we've all been looking for.

​A buddy I've had since the third grade sent me this picture yesterday. The first sentence in his text simply said, "throwback to simpler times."

I looked at the picture for a bit. The picture is thrown so daggone far back I don't really remember the 'times.' But it doesn't take much looking at it to know, they were simpler times in some ways. And maybe in other ways - not so much.

I found myself asking, though, not were times simpler in the throwback; I found myself asking - would I GO BACK to the throwback.

And no. No I wouldn't.

I suppose that boils down to a couple of things.

More than ever, I believe life is to be lived - not re-lived. Whether times in the past were simpler or harder, reflecting on them can be good. But going back too often, re-living life in those times - I think that only serves to rob you of the joy available in THESE times.

There is also this. And it's a big this. I truly believe my best days are ahead of me. Because of that, I don't want to look at one single day behind me as a place I'd rather be than the day I'm living, and the hope found in the day to come.

Yesterdays - the good and the bad - they can hang clouds over the light of today and tomorrow if you let them.

Well I won't let them; I choose the light of this day. I think that makes any time the simplest of times.

I will point this out, though. Getting a text from an old buddy who was digging through some old stuff and chose to send me a memory of simpler times. That is priceless. I'm not sure we all fully understand the power of that kind of gesture.

So please, if you feel called to share simpler times memories with someone - do it - chances are they need it.

I actually sent this picture to my boys. I told them, SEE dudes - I DID have hair.

Ian responded, 'back in the 1700s, yeah..."

Well, I did say it's a throwback, didn't I?🤷‍♂️

Throwbacks are good, but I truly believe if we look at today the right way, the best is always yet to come.