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3/21/2012 0 Comments

A Barn Filled With Skittles and a GrandDaughter

​The mother of one of Ian’s friends called Katie and left a message the other night.  We had just finished eating dinner when Katie began to listen to what turned out to be a rather long message.  She had been listening without much emotion for a couple of minutes when she suddenly burst into laughter.  She immediately took the phone away from her ear and began to punch away at the keys and lifted the phone back to her ear.  It was the same thing.  A lengthy period of silence followed by an outburst of laughter and tears.  When she was done laughing, and before she offered any explanation of the call that now had me very curious, she turned to Ian.  I somehow knew this was going to be good.

“Ian,” she said, “Charlie’s mom just called and she said you told Charlie that you have a barn that’s full of Skittles.”

“I do,” he said.  “They’re in the barn at my farm.”  He said this as certain as a farmer at the local coffee shop talks about his sheep or cattle or horses.  But this was three year old Ian.  He owns a plastic barn with battery operated plastic animals that baa and moo and neigh when you press the right button.  The closest thing he has to a farm is the living room after he’s drug in a shoe full of dirt after playing outside. But Ian and Elliott have always had imaginations that are often centered around a make believe farm that they can describe every detail of – including the Skittles – with the exception of just how one might get there.

Skittles wouldn’t be the most surprising find in the barn last week.

We were driving to our friends’ house for dinner Saturday night when we drove past the boys’ school.  For some reason seeing the school made Elliott think of Ms. Kathy, the school director.  “Ms. Kathy has a baby,” Elliott said.

“You’re right,” Katie said, “She has a new little granddaughter.”  There was a quiet and all indications were that that conversation was over.  But it wasn’t.  Someone else had a line to add to it.

“I have a granddaughter at my farm,” added Ian.

I hope she likes Skittles, I thought.

The crazy things they say weren’t over yet.

We were driving home from Church Sunday when the subject once again turned to babies.  I can’t recall how. I do know it wasn’t a suggestion that we rescue Ian’s granddaughter from his farm.  But somehow we began to talk about babies.

“Ian was really messy when he was born,” said Elliott.

Katie and I looked at each other, wondering where that came from.  “You weren’t around when Ian was born, Elliott, how do you know he was messy,” asked Katie.

This is an example of Katie being much braver than I.  As curious as I was to know what Elliott was talking about, I wasn’t curious enough to follow this conversation into the dark and uncomfortable areas it showed every possibility of visiting.  But she couldn’t help herself, and Elliott obliged with an answer.

“I know he was messy because he was in your belly and all of that food kept dropping down on him.” 

This is one of many reasons kids should not be able to speak, not a word, while in a moving vehicle.  I nearly ran off the road with the image in my head of little Ian looking for cover as Katie dropped oatmeal and pizza and quarter pounders with cheese down on his unprotected head.

Katie went on to explain that Ian stayed in a different room of the stomach than the food did, once again demonstrating her bravery.  I’m afraid I would have simply told him that the nurses were quick to clean the food off of him.

I am reminded today, on the one year anniversary of my good friend losing her husband, that these moments with our families are treasures.  I am reminded that a second of worry about yesterday or tomorrow or about what I do or don’t have is a second robbed of the enjoyment and the overwhelming sense of gratitude I have for Ian and Elliott and their awesome mama.  My prayers are with you today Rachel.

And finally, I hope everyone got to see the two very coolest moments of this NCAA tournament.  And no, my obsessive UNC fan friends, one of them was not Duke getting beat by Lehigh.  The first was just prior to the tournament when Bob Knight, the often volatile and seemingly cold coach of Indiana University, and later Texas Tech, found out while on air of a basketball game he was covering that his son, Pat, had just led his Lamar team into the NCAA tournament.  The chair throwing and I’ve-adopted-cursing-as-a-second-language Bob Knight had tears in his eyes and his voice quivered as he declared that news was his happiest basketball moment of his 50 years in the sport.  Then this past weekend, Clark Kellogg was announcing a game when he found out his son, who plays for Ohio University, had just helped his team into the sweet 16 round of the tournament.  He lost all sense of the game he was calling as he was overcome with joy.  A very visible joy. 

I could relate.  But more, I was thankful to see that feeling never goes away.  That even when our kids have moved out of their barns filled with skittles and granddaughters, they can still bring us such joy.
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3/5/2012 0 Comments

Living The De-Caf Life

A couple of weeks ago Katie and I escaped to a cabin in the mountains on the western side of the state.  Anyone who has children under the age of five, or I suppose anyone who has children at all, can relate to the need for escape.  It was really the perfect weekend to get away.  It was a calm before the storm for both of us.  The busy testing season was about to begin for Katie in her job with the schools, and I was about to begin my new job coordinating a grant for a local prevention coalition.  The drive across Virginia proved to be more calm before the storm than we expected.  Under beautiful blue skies, the weatherman on the radio was calling for up to 8 inches of snow the following day where we were headed.  I began to dream of being snowed in for an extended escape.  Nothing drastic, mind you - a few weeks - or maybe a month – tops.  Just a small reprieve from wrestling matches over Legos and dinner conversations limited to the happenings in the lives of the Mario Brothers.   I would discover later that grandma and grandpa, who were keeping the boys for the weekend, began cursing my dreams the moment they started dancing in my head.

When we arrived at our cabin, I knew we had picked a perfect place to relax:
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We settled in.  The Shenandoah River was 50 yards behind our cabin. The Mountains jumped above the fields in front of it.  Perfect.  It’s the kind of serenity that can get you to thinking deeply about life.  The kind of place where you can hear God’s voice so clearly.  I couldn’t wait to hear what he had to say.  So as we enjoyed each other and had uninterrupted conversations, and watched the skies for signs of the first flakes, I listened.

What I heard first was that very quiet curse from grandma and grandpa.  It came in the complete absence of snow.  Not a single flake.  So much for our blame-it-on-mother-nature extended stay.  Oh, the snow arrived - everywhere else.  In fact grandma and grandpa played in several inches of snow with the boys back home in central Virginia.  To add insult to injury, five minutes into our drive back home the ground was covered with a fresh, white blanket.  Our consolation was that, other than that first five minutes of our drive home, the view was gorgeous.

And oh yes, the voice from God.  It ended up coming from an author, Don Miller.  I was catching up on his blog while I was there and discovered that he had quit drinking coffee.  Of all of his posts I have no idea why I became fixated on that one.  I suppose because I found it hard to believe someone I liked would quit drinking coffee.  I wondered if I would ever be able to like him again after I had discovered that he was capable of such insanity.  I actually felt angry.   I googled “why on earth would someone quit drinking coffee?” And Google, clearly unaware that I was being sarcastic, answered me:

  • Increasing hypertension risks
  • keeps the liver busy from filtering other toxins
  • tooth decay
  • weakened bones
  • addiction/dependence
  • causes anxiety
  • a cycle of hyperactivity and/or inability to focus, followed by a subsequent "crash"
  • disrupted sleep habits
  • may interfere with weight loss and has been linked to hypoglycemia
  • buying coffee products may fund inhumane labor overseas
  • financial costs to support caffeine purchases
  • has been linked to affecting learning behavior (unknown if positive or negative yet)
  • caffeine dehydrates your body and can make you gain weight
  • a desire for a healthier pregnancy
When I read that final bullet I felt my anger was justified.  I mean, Don, really, what is the likelihood you’ll get pregnant.  But several of the other 13 bullets just kept speaking to me.  I suppose now is a good time to confess that my own coffee habit consisted of 8 to 12 cups of coffee a day for the past 20 years, which made me start wondering about my high blood pressure and my afternoon crashes.  I also began to wonder if my pride in my ability to go nights on end without sleep was actually an inability to sleep at all – an inability driven by coffee.  I emailed my friend, Mike, who had introduced me to Miller’s books and lectures.  I told him that Don Miller had quit drinking coffee and that I thought I should as well.  He said, “Keith, on some things Don Miller is an idiot.”

Something told me he wasn’t an idiot, so I gave up coffee.  Cold turkey.  And for 4 days I walked around running my hands over my head searching for the vice that was surely clamped against it, threatening to squeeze my brains and my caffeine weakened bones right out my ears.  I took aspirin and drank water and googled “how stinkin long do caffeine withdrawal headaches last?”  And the answer was about 4 days.  And sure enough on the 5th day the headache went away.  And now, on the 13th day, I think Don Miller is my hero.  I have more energy than I ever had after any 12th cup of coffee.  Maybe because I sleep several hours a night.  I don’t know.  But I am thankful I heard the voice.

My caffeine-free life couldn’t have started a moment too soon.  Keeping up with Elliott and Ian these days is no task for the weary.  Elliott is getting ready to start his second year of baseball, and Ian is actually signed up for a 3 year old soccer league (after watching Elliott’s 4 and 5 year olds league play, I can hardly wait to see what happens when Ian and company take the field).

Little Ian is hardly little Ian any more.  He is going on play dates and getting invited to birthday parties.  I find myself holding him and hugging him a little longer and harder these days.  I know it’s any minute now that he’ll no longer be a baby, and if I can just be holding him when that moment passes, maybe I’ll be able to keep just a piece of it forever.  I’ve noticed Ian actually hugs me harder than usual lately, and I wonder if he isn’t trying to steal my moment.  That would, after all, be just like Ian.
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    Robert "Keith" Cartwright

    I am a friend of God, a dad, a runner who never wins, but is always searching for beauty in the race.

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