The world would lead us to believe that if we aren't killing ourselves, if we aren't constantly feeling exhausted, if we aren't out there working while the rest of the world is sleeping, then we'll never get ahead.
In his book 'Effortless: Make It Easier To Do What Matters Most' - Greg McKeown talks about the difference between a habit and a ritual. He suggests we might be better off having more rituals than habits. McKeown tells a story about his family dinner times. He and his wife and children gather around the table. They take turns telling each other stories about the day. When they're done, they toast one another to celebrate something good about each of their days. It's a habit they have - it's what they do every day - but he says it's a habit with soul, so it's really a ritual. After dinner, however - when it's time to do the dishes - McKeown noticed the kids would always disappear. It became HIS chore to get them to do THEIR chore. So one day he asked his daughter what might make dish washing a little more interesting. What might add some 'soul' to it? After some conversation, she suggested adding a little music to the habit. As a result, many nights now, his kids can be found singing and dancing while doing the dishes. Sometimes the music is loud - and maybe not dad's favorite music - but they are doing the dishes. They've turned a habit into a ritual. I thought about this in terms of my writing. Writing used to be a habit for me. I tried to write at least a little something every day. Many days I wrote simply because I was scared not to - I wrote out of fear of not getting it done and checking the box. Over the last couple of years, though, I've begun to write because it's sacred to me. McKeown says that's what happens when we turn something from a habit to a ritual - what we do comes from a place of sacred and not scared. Writing has become this cool way for me to come here and share life with friends. It's become a hopeful way for me to look at my day - the things I read and the conversations I have with other people - or even just the random thoughts that come to my head - they are all these potentially exciting things I can't wait to share with friends. Showing up here in the mornings has become this sacred opportunity that I look forward to - not a habit I begrudgingly get done. It's a habit that's become a ritual. Where writing used to feel like a lot of hard work - I used to feel like I was killing myself to get it done - it feels much easier these days. Don't get me wrong - it is still a lot of hard work. It just doesn't FEEL as hard as it once did. Maybe that's why feeling like I'm working hard isn't always the best measure of whether or not I'm doing meaningful work. Maybe when something feels sacred, maybe when it feels like this thing I'm doing taps into my soul - maybe that's a more meaningful measure of work. What's a habit this week you can make more ritual? What habit this week can you make more an expression of who you are than this thing you're afraid of not getting done? Sometimes it's as simple as reminding yourself 'why' you are doing something. Sometimes it means switching it up - adding a little soul - or music - to what you're doing. Sometimes sharing your habit with others adds soul to it. Whatever it is, in the end, what we do because it's sacred will always feel easier than the things we do because we're scared. And life's hard enough without EVERYTHING having to feel hard.
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Robert "Keith" CartwrightI am a friend of God, a dad, a runner who never wins, but is always searching for beauty in the race. Archives
December 2024
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