Be careful of the story you tell yourself

We are all story tellers.

Not everyone comes to Facebook first thing in the morning to tell their story. Some people never share the first word of their story with anyone. In fact, more often than not, the only audience that ever gets to hear our story is ourselves.

The bad and good news is we almost always believe the stories we tell ourselves. Looking back on my life, the very best and the absolute worst days of my life happened because I believed the stories I was telling myself.

Many years ago I had a gambling problem. At the height of that problem I didn't have enough money to gamble so I'd borrow other people's money without them knowing it. To you that might sound like stealing. But for me, the story I was telling myself was I was a good guy simply borrowing money until the right horse won that day. Then I'd return the money after the big score and all would be good.

That story almost never came true.

As time went on I changed that story to one I believed was a more honest story. I changed it to 'I am a thief.'

Even though that story seemed to fit the crime a little better, it wasn't any more true than the "good guy borrowing" story. It may have been a better depiction of my choices in life, but it allowed me to start believing some pretty ugly things about myself.

I spent a lot of my life discovering the quickest way to ugly choices and ugly outcomes in your life is believing the ugly stories you tell yourself.

On one of the darkest days of my life, literally lying in a bed in a dark basement, my life changed with this story: this is not who you are. That may not seem life altering to you, but it was a starting place for me.

When you can at least recognize the story you've been telling yourself is a lie, you've taken the first step to looking for a more truthful story. That's powerful.

When you believe you are a thief, you will go make choices that support that belief. You will spend your days and weeks honoring all that you've come to believe about your story. You will make sure that the props and characters in your life fit this narrative perfectly. You will make any other story in your life hard to believe.

The story I eventually started telling myself was that I was made in God's image by God himself. That was my new story. And when you believe you are made in someone's image you start studying that image. You start listening to the stories other people tell themselves about this image and you start adopting some of their stories as your own.

The choices I make are remarkably different when I start my day with 'I am a child of God' instead of 'I am a thief.' When you believe you were made solely to love other people, the choice to steal from them becomes a more complicated scene. Stealing from people no longer fits the plot as neatly as it used to. It makes you want to get up and storm out of the theater.

Don't let me make this sound like changing the story you tell yourself is an easy thing. It is not. But this part is true - you will never change the direction of your life without changing the story you tell yourself about who you are in that life.

Life doesn't always agree with you when you believe who you are is better than life is treating you.

But life will ALWAYS agree with you when you believe who you are is as bad as life is treating you.

One belief has you fighting every moment to make life look like who you are. One belief says who you are doesn't deserve any better.

Either way, both beliefs start with the story you tell yourself about who you are.

As you go into this new week after a long weekend - remember you are a story teller. We are all story tellers.