Before people will listen to what you have to say that have to know you accept who they are

​When I was a counselor working with at-risk kids, one of the best pieces of guidance I ever received from a supervisor was "meet them where they are."

When you're a new counselor, it's easy to get caught up trying to hurry along the process of kids becoming who you know they can be. It's easy to jump right in to "fixing them." And when you're in that place, every mistake a kid makes reminds you they aren't there yet and that they are still who they used to be. That could get frustrating; a frustration, sadly, I often took out on the kids by making sure they knew they were always going to be who they used to be.

What I ultimately realized that supervisor was saying to me, though, is you have to let the kids know you accept them for who they are before they'll ever listen to you tell them who they can be.

That should have come more naturally to me than it did. Every major change in my life has come when the people around me have said I know who you are, and I love you anyways.

I became a much better counselor the day kids knew I loved being with them - unconditionally. I wasn't there trying to fix who they used to be or preparing them to be the kind of person I'd love being with in the future - I was there because I loved who they were right then and there.

For many of those kids, it was the first time they'd ever had someone meet them where they were - and loved them not in spite of where they were, but because of it.

As I sit here writing this post, I can hear God whispering that very sentiment to me: I love you Keith, not in spite of who you were or because of who you're becoming, but because you are who you are right now. I can hear God reminding me that He died on a cross so I'd have a permanent and forever reminder that He didn't die on that cross to fix who I was, but because He loves who I am.

God knew the biggest challenge at-risk kids would have, and he knew the biggest challenge their counselors would have, would bebreaking free of the chains of regret and shame and doubt that would knot them to their past mistakes. Every day, God is working to remind me how much he loves me, all the while gently untying those knots.

And God calls us to be just that in the lives of people around us. He calls us to meet them where they are, and to love them, and sometimes without them evening knowing it, he calls us to untie the knots that keep them from ever knowing just who they can become.