It's an irony, of sorts, that what often brings us great joy is imagining where we might go in life, yet at the same time what most robs us of joy is the reality that we aren't there yet.
What if the greatest joy in life is intended to be found in the journey of getting where we long to go, a joy that could never be diminished or taken away, even if we never get there? My youngest loves practicing lacrosse. He'll sit in the yard or at the local college, by himself, going through drill after drill. There's few places if any he'd rather be. I know he dreams of playing college lacrosse. I'm sure he even imagines himself being a professional lacrosse player. Nothing increases the chances of him getting to those places more than the fact he loves doing all the steps required to get there. I used to dream of writing a book. The thing that stood in my way the most of living out that dream is I didn't like writing. Crazy, right? Then one day I started writing every day, no matter what, and I fell in love with the process required to one day hold a book I've written. But today, if you tell me I'll never have that book, I'll tell you I'm going to keep writing anyway. Today I love writing more than I love the idea of holding a book I might have written. Loving walking more than loving the destination hasn't always been my strength. I have always been a bit of a dreamer, picturing the possibilities, but more in a way that used dreaming as a distraction. I suppose it's fair to say I have even used dreaming as a coping mechanism. When you don't feel worthy or capable of where you want to go, dreaming of getting there is an alternative to doing the things it requires to get there. I am sure I entered relationships with my heart and mind fixated on some dream of happily ever after without any understanding of what it might take to create happiness on the way to living out that dream. Sometimes it is the dream that robs us of the joy of discovering how very capable we are of reaching that dream. Because for many of us, the dream sounds much more realistic than the steps it might take to get there. That is, until you go into the back yard with your stick and your ball and spend hours throwing the ball against a rebounder. Until you wake up every morning and sit at the keyboard and type out the thoughts and messages that beg to escape your soul. Until you wake up every morning and decide, we aren't happily ever after yet, but together we'll discover a way to create happiness today in this step we've been give on our way to getting there. Until you discover it's never been about the destination, but about the steps and missteps along the journey. Until you discover what I've discovered, the more you learn to love those steps and missteps, the easier it is to lose sight of where you were planning to go in the first place.
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Robert "Keith" CartwrightI am a friend of God, a dad, a runner who never wins, but is always searching for beauty in the race. Archives
November 2024
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