Being Blindsided Is Not Forever Blinding

​Blindsided.

It's a different flavor of a problem.

I've experienced it this weekend.

The nature of the events is unimportant. Mainly because a strategy I've adopted in my own healing journey is to as quickly as possible leave behind the events and begin searching for what the events reveal about being human.

About being me.

Like me, you've likely been blindsided. You don't need to know or experience my events to feel the truth in that. And so maybe the broader human question isn't about the specifics of blindsided events, but rather why they often come with such a violent kick in the gut.

I guess it's simple. When hardship comes that we see coming, we begin preparing long before it arrives. We gather resources. We brace ourselves. We practice conversations and we spend a lot of time forewarning ourselves: This is going to suck.

The cruelty and vindictiveness of blindsided is it often offers none of that.

In the aftershocks of this earthquake I did not see coming, I've been wondering why some challenges I've experienced, as hard as they were, didn't feel nearly as exhausting and utterly defeating as being blindsided.

I think it boils down to our bodies. And how our bodies relax a bit when we believe chapters of uncertainty in our lives are coming to an end. There is such tangible comfort and rest in that.

You sleep better and eat better and literally see the whole picture of the world better. Whose body does not crave better?

But then, like being awakened from a deep sleep with a bucket of ice water, the body is told that not only is this uncertainty far from coming to an end, uncertainty has reloaded its weaponry and is coming back with a spray of its punishment like you've never absorbed before.

And the body, being the body, naturally responds to that.

But here is what I've been reminded this weekend. And I want you to be reminded of it as well if you've experienced blindsided.

This weekend my peace has been disrupted. Greatly. But it does not erase the fact that I've become a more peaceful person.

This weekend I have found myself thinking:

"I thought I was through this."

"I thought things were getting better."

"I thought I could relax."

One blindsided moment can make us question and disown months and even years of progress. But that's where a more peaceful me can step in and recognize: NO, that's a lie.

Healing isn't evidence of never being knocked completely off balance again. Healing is evidence of what we do after.

Years ago, this weekend would have consumed my life for months to come. But here I am writing about it two days later. I am reflecting instead or reacting.

That's not to say there has been NO reaction at all, but the body once again finds peace the sooner we start looking to make meaning and not war.

Every event in life comes with a claiming option. Claim the event or claim the meaning of it.

Meaning is always a path forward. The event is always an invitation to stay stuck right where you are.

If I know the transmission is going out in my car, I have time to prepare for that inevitability. If I am in a collision today and my car is totaled, I've been given no time to prepare for that.

But the reality is - they are both challenging events in life. One simply demands we begin the process of meaning making and peace finding a whole lot quicker.

Sadly, the body is NOT great at that. But, as I have discovered through a lot of really hard work: The body IS completely capable of that.

Remember that the goal isn't to convince your body that nothing bad happened. The goal is to help your body discover that something bad happened...and you're still here.

Being blindsided changes the timeline, but it doesn't change what's possible. The body may need time to catch up. It may need to breathe, sleep, find people, and grace. But please don't mistake "not there yet" for "never getting there."

The body isn't great at finding peace overnight, but with our help, the body is remarkably capable of finding it again. If I've learned nothing else in life, I have indeed learned this.

Blindsided is not forever blinded.

Carry on.