Birthdays in the virtual world can feel full of real connection

​I spent some time last night pondering why birthdays feel so good to me on Facebook. I get it. Everything about Facebook is designed to influence the neurotransmitters that flood me with feel-good chemicals.

But it does feel like a bigger flood on my birthday.

Maybe it's volume. Certainly, more people engage with me online on my birthday than they do most other days. But this feels bigger than volume. It feels deeper than the water.

It feels more real.

Maybe that's reaching, trying to make the virtual world feel more real than virtual. Maybe it speaks to my inner longing for connectedness and community. But that's really the feeling that comes with each of those birthday greetings.

Community and connectedness.

Maybe it's because we all have birthdays. When someone says happy birthday, I know they have a personal frame of reference for their greeting. There is some emotion in them tied to their birthdays that equips them to connect to some emotion in me that comes with mine.

There's also this notion of being seen.

When someone says happy birthday, they know something very significant about me. I was born this day. And to have so many people seeing and knowing the same personal thing about me, and celebrating it, all at the same time, that's an intense shot of feeling seen.

I think that's a big part of it. You can spend a lot of time online and have a lot of people see you without you ever feeling seen. I did feel seen on my birthday. Not the seen that comes with attention, but the seen that comes with being known.

So, thank you for reaching out. Reaching out with everything ranging from a simple happy birthday greeting to beautiful words of encouragement.

It all played a role in a day full of connection. And feeling known.

I know social media and other forms of electronic communication can be good and/or evil, depending on the hearts and minds of the users. I appreciate all who made all of it such a good thing in my life yesterday.

I'm truly grateful for the lovely hearts and minds in my life.

I don't think the virtual world will ever make a great substitute for hearing the words happy birthday while enveloped inside a warm birthday hug. But maybe the virtual world isn't supposed to be a substitute.

Maybe it's the delicious icing on the relational chocolate birthday cake. And at the same time, maybe it's a sweet reminder to never give up on the cake.

Either way, thank you all.

Thank you for making it a truly special start to another year.