Boundaries, Far More About Yes Than No

​Boundaries.

I've probably heard that word the last half decade more than I'd heard it the previous five decades combined.

Boundaries.

I hear that term used so often these days and in so many different contexts, at times I'm not sure I even know what it means.

Boundaries.

There's a story in the bible. It's the very beginning of Jesus' public ministry. Jesus goes into the desert to fast for 40 days. While there, Satan shows up to pester him with temptations.

Satan tempts him to turn stones into bread to satisfy his intense hunger. Satan challenges Jesus to jump from a temple to show off to the people and prove that he's the son of God. Satan offers to give Jesus ruling power over the entire world if he'd simply bow down to him.

Jesus said no to all of these temptations.

The story is often portrayed as a lesson in avoiding temptations. But in reality, it might be a much more powerful lesson in setting boundaries. Maybe the story was never about what Jesus said 'no' to as much as it was about him protecting what he most wanted to say 'yes' to: His identity as the son of God.

One of the very first ways Jesus said yes to his identity as the son of God was by putting a boundary between him and the identity of Satan. Jesus spent a lot of time in the desert saying no; maybe no is the strongest boundary we can build to protect our yes.

I wonder sometimes if folks who have a lot of boundaries know more about what they're saying no to than the yes they are protecting?

I say no to a lot of things the first two hours of every morning as a way of protecting my ability to say yes to writing. Knowing my yes makes it much easier to say no to a lot of things at the start of my day.

A lot of people are starting the new year with a list of things they are saying no to. They are establishing boundaries. But I've discovered repeatedly in my life - too repeatedly - that I lack the capacity to stay strong in my no without fully knowing the yes I'm trying to protect with it.

Maybe you're wanting to say yes to a healthier you this year.

Maybe you're wanting to say yes to more meaningful relationships.

Maybe you're wanting to say yes to a new business opportunity.

I encourage you to memorize your yes. Pray over it, meditate over it, journal about it. Make that yes such an intense part of the you that you long to become that your no becomes your most treasured weapon to protect it. ​

And then, and only then, start putting up the boundaries, start saying no to the things that want to challenge you to abandon the you that you long to become.

Because in the end, our desire to say yes to who we truly long to be will always add a strength to our boundaries that willpower can ever provide.

Jesus didn't say no to Satan.

He said yes to all he'd come to earth to become.

Boundaries.