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1/14/2021 0 Comments

Burn in or burn out

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​The other day a friend asked me "how are you doing?"

They didn't ask it in a casual way like we sometimes do to kill conversation time. They asked it like they wanted to know.

So I thought for a minute, and then I answered them. I said, recently, there have actually been days where I don't feel like life is a fog. Looking back on our conversation, and after reading Godin's words this morning, I think I could have said that there have recently been days where I don't feel completely burned out.

I hear that a lot from friends lately; I'm just burned out.

I think about those friends. I think about me. I think about all the things we have going on in our worlds right now that are simply - for the most part - beyond our control. And I think about those friends. And I think about me. And I think about how hard - how much energy we are putting into - trying to control them.

I look at these match sticks this morning. I think about how impossible it would be to keep a single match burning. I think about how frustrating it would get trying to figure out exactly how to make that happen - keeping this thing going that is beyond our control to keep going.

Then I also think about the freedom that comes with simply being OK with lighting a new match every time we need fire in our lives.

I think that's what's behind some of the fog lifting in my life these days. With the turn of the new year, I've centered myself on lighting the matches in my life that can actually have fire in them.

It starts in the morning. I've always been a morning person. I've always felt that's when I'm at my "burn-in" best. But I've formalized it in 2021 - and those who know me well know "formalize" is not a strength of mine. It fits me about as well as neat and clean and organized and planful.

⏹But I'm up at 4:30.
⏹Prayer and meditate until 4:45.
⏹Until 5:15 - I read in and write about the book - "We Make the Road by Walking - a year-long quest for spiritual formation, reorientation and activation."
⏹Until 6AM I write some thoughts that have been on my mind right here on Facebook.
⏹From 6-7 I'll run or walk or exercise.
⏹Then it's shower and eat a healthy breakfast (which may be my only "healthy" meal of the day 🤷‍♂️).

My point here isn't to highlight my morning routine. We all have different lives that make it possible/impossible to duplicate each other's routines. The bigger point is that I HAVE a routine. I have a part of my day where I've formalized time and methods to burn-in. With this routine, I know that by 8, before my world uncontrollably turns uncontrollable, I've purposefully spent time controlling things that I can control.

Things that certainly make a difference in my life. Things that better equip me to make a difference in someone else's life.

Here's the other thing - and maybe the more important thing. When things do get to feeling uncontrollable, when things do begin to put a fog over and around and in my life - this routine is a reminder of the things I can control.

It's a reminder that in a burn-out moment, it would likely work out better for me to take a 10 minute walk, or to read in my book, or to write down some thoughts I'd like to share the next day.

It's a reminder to walk away from the uncontrollable and show up and persist at the things that are in my control.

And who knows - maybe showing up and doing the things we can do to make ourselves better - maybe that's the most control we'll ever have over the things we spend so much time fighting to control - the things we just know will make the world better.
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    Robert "Keith" Cartwright

    I am a friend of God, a dad, a runner who never wins, but is always searching for beauty in the race.

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