I am sure this will be the most difficult of my Christmas articles to write. Like almost all of my articles, I have no idea where it will go as I begin to write. I write much more to explore than exposit. And this one is a tough exploration.
It starts with exploring the real meaning of Christmas. And at the very core of that meaning, I think, is a God who said to humanity, "We've become much too distant, you and I. That grieves me and I want you all to know that I forgive you and that I'd really like to reconcile our relationship." Part of the difficulty in receiving that message is knowing God doesn't create stories like the Christmas story for his own personal gain. There are always broader messages. And in this one I think God's lesson comes in the form of questions: If I have sent my son to a manger in order that he could eventually die on a cross as a demonstration of how strongly I desire to fix my relationship with you, how easy is it for me to sit back and watch you so casually accept broken relationships in your life? If I sent my son to die for you, how easy is it for me to sit back and watch you allow resentment to eat away at your willingness to permit your ego to die for anyone other than you? Those are hard questions. They are personally hard questions that make writing this particular Christmas article difficult. Because I know God's answer to those two questions; the answer is not very easy at all. For many, Christmas is about the warmth that comes with the many gatherings that take place. But for others, Christmas can cast a shadow on relationships strained by time, misunderstandings, or hurt. And still, in spite of those shadows, at its core, Christmas is a story of reconciliation, a divine call to peace and healing. I have many broken relationships in my life. I am estranged from relationships that many would consider important. Necessary, maybe even some would suggest. Yet, that is not what they are in my world. The truth is, I have not struggled with the reality that I don't have those relationships as much as I have struggled over the years with the resentment that ate me alive because of them. A resentment toward those relationships that left me pointed toward resentment in almost every relationship I entered into. Including, if not even mostly, a resentment toward God. You know, when God came into that manger, and when God climbed up on that cross, God did not require anything of us prior to doing so. He just simply said, I forgive. I don't need you to accept it. I don't need you to ask for it. I simply forgive you. Within all of the broken relationships I have these days, I harbor no resentment. No lack of forgiveness. For forgiveness is a deeply personal act of grace. It doesn't require the participation of others. I suppose the problem comes when there is forgiveness without reconciliation. Because the lack of reconciliation doesn't often outwardly look like forgiveness, I suppose. An unwillingness to share life together doesn't often look like the grace one offers today toward the often toxic lives once shared together in the past. But God. God forgave without requiring us to reconcile with him. God forgave, I believe, because God could not be God if he existed in a state of resentment toward the people he created. God forgave, I think, for God. But that forgiveness was an invitation to us to reconcile with Him. God did not and will not force that reconciliation. God has left that entirely up to us. Up to us to decide whether or not a relationship with Him leads our lives in a healthier or more destructive direction. Yet, no matter our choice, God will not rescind his grace and his forgiveness. At Jesus' birth, the angels proclaimed, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests." Peace doesn’t always mean restored relationships; sometimes, it’s the peace that comes from letting go of bitterness and leaving the outcome in God’s hands. The message of Christmas doesn’t demand instant reconciliation with every broken relationship in our lives. Instead, it invites us to live in hope that God is working to redeem all things, even relationships, in His time and way. Sometimes that looks like togetherness. Sometimes that looks like acknowledging the healthiest move is moving on. But never does that baby in a manger or that savior on a cross look like bitterness. With his dying breaths Jesus said on behalf of his killers, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” I don't think Jesus offered those words because he couldn't die estranged from his killers. Jesus offered those words because he couldn't die having his relationship with God tainted by his resentment toward them. Christmas has always been a story about forgiveness and reconciliation. That God would have to send a baby in a manger as part of that story, a baby that would ultimately have to die on a cross, that tells us just how complicated that Christmas story can be. God more than anyone understands the difficult tension that lives within forgiveness and reconciliation. If the Christmas story brings you more shadows than warmth this year, my heart goes out to you. I get it. I would simply encourage you, don't let those shadows stand in the way of reconciling with the one who never needed anything from you to offer you forgiveness and grace. That baby in a manger has only one demand of us this Christmas. The demand that we always know he loved us first, without ever needing to be assured that we will love him in return. There are many relationships in my life I can't imagine returning to. But there is one I can never imagine walking away from again. God lived in the shadows of my resentment toward others for far too long. My Christmas prayer, my Christmas story, is that I will never see fit to remove God from my life and into those shadows ever again.
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Robert "Keith" CartwrightI am a friend of God, a dad, a runner who never wins, but is always searching for beauty in the race. Archives
February 2025
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