Come out of hiding

​I am not good at relationships.

I am better than I was, but I am not good.

I don't say that with discouragement. Quite the opposite. I'm discouraged when I'm in a bad place and have no idea how to get out.

But I know how to get out of this relationship struggle, and that is hope.

I had the pleasure of working with a group of people last week who, like me, came with some relationship struggles.

Some had fears of them.

Resistance, maybe.

For some the mention of relationships felt downright awkward.

And I get it.

At the end of our training - after spending 3 full days together - we did a closing activity. We invited some guests from a previous cohort of trainers I'd led in that area to join us. At the end of the personal story sharing activity, a young lady from the previous cohort said, "it felt so nice to be able to come in and feel like I was jumping in a lake of truth. I wish I could find more lakes like this."

So many of us live out this destructive internal conflict every day. We are hiding from our truths while at the same time longing to find lakes of truth to jump into.

Sadly, many of us are better at finding places to hide than lakes to jump into. I know; I spent nearly five decades perfecting the art of hiding.

I'm reminded this week that relationships aren't built on 'come out of hiding when you're done struggling' - relationships are built on 'come out of hiding and let's struggle together.'

That's hard for many of us to accept. Too many of us have come to believe that the goal of the life game is to avoid struggle, to avoid brokenness, to avoid sadness, to avoid loneliness, to avoid fear, to avoid.....

When the reality is, healthy relationships aren't built on avoiding any of those things. They are built on accepting the reality of every single one of them and celebrating the chance to jump into the truth of them together.

The lake of truth.

So many times last week I was awed by one observation:

I was in the midst of 17 people, all with very different personalities and character traits and world views and backgrounds, and yet, in less than 72 hours, all of us were sharing parts of ourselves we rarely share.

Some shared parts of themselves they had NEVER shared.

How does that happen?

More and more I've come to know we are never compelled to share our stories, we are invited into sharing with curiosity and acceptance and honoring. Which begins to feel like safety.

And look like a lake - a lake of truth.

A lake that says come out of hiding.

Jump in.

I'll close with these beautiful lyrics from the Steffany Gretzinger song Out Of Hiding:

Come out of hiding
You're safe here with Me
There's no need to cover
What I already see

You've got your reasons
But I hold your peace
You've been on lockdown
And I hold the key