comfort is standing in our way of hope, not offering it

​Yesterday, I wrote that I have turned my back on some things in my life this year that haven't been serving me well. Things that have been a part of my life in unhealthy ways for four decades. Things I've always known were standing in my way of a future that offers far more hope than any present I've ever experienced.

People might ask, if you've known that, if you've known you are trading in hope for destruction, why hang on to destruction? Why would someone who knows better not do better?

The answer is simple and complex.

The answer is, it's often hard to trade in what has always made us feel good for the promise of something that might turn out to be good. We are creatures who love comfort; nothing is more uncomfortable than giving up what you know for the promise of something better.

We've all lived with enough broken promises to know the extent of that gamble.

It's a hard thing to understand about humans from the outside looking in. Why do people cling to such unhealthy habits when the clinging is clearly playing out in unhealthy ways.

Do they not see it?

I will say to that, in the event you are one who asks those questions, the people you are questioning are equally questioning of you.

They too are wondering, do they not see it?

Do they not see the inner turmoil? Do they not see the stories of shame and guilt? Do they not see the loneliness? Do they not see the person who would do anything to forget how much they don't like themselves?

It's too easy to look at the outside of someone and assume they are destroying their lives when in reality they are often trying to hold together a life that feels destroyed.

I'm here to tell you, the path to helping someone to a brand new place isn't questioning, or worse, judging the place they are in. The path is sharing with them that you have been where they are.

You have been in this place of knowing there is something better but clinging to what feels better. And you have also been in the place of taking the brave step of leaving behind comfort for the promise of hope.

Because many folks seeking comfort have long given up on having hope, yet still deeply long for it. Hope is ultimately the best commercial we have for drawing the comfortable into the discomfort of change.

There IS hope. I want you to know that.

It's not easy. I know the discomfort you are trying to comfort away, but you won't. I've run a decades long experiment on that one.

You just won't comfort away the discomfort in your life.

But hope, the sweet call of hope. How do I get THERE?

It starts with acknowledging that it's never been comfort you've truly longed for; it's been hope. It's been the hope of waking up one day truly at peace with who you are. Truly confident you are moving in the direction of who you are made to be.

It starts with acknowledging it's been comfort standing in your way of that hope, not providing it.

And then, take the step.

Take that first uncomfortable step.

Hope is waiting.

I promise.