When Elliott - my firstborn - was born, I felt God talk to me. God was as overwhelming in my life in that moment as he's ever been. I dare say, it's as overwhelming as he'll ever be.
In the very first seconds of looking into my son's eyes, my heart full of a love I could have never imagined, I heard God say, "now you have at least a sliver of an idea of just how I feel about you every single second I look into your eyes." Yes - I heard God's voice. And yes, I continue to hear those words every day. I need to hear them. Because there are days I don't feel like I'm performing well enough in this life to be loved by God. There are days I don't feel like I'm performing well enough to be loved by anyone - really. But in that moment, when I heard God insist that I feel his love for me, I was a very imperfect man. Much like I am today. I think as a culture, we make it really difficult to understand this concept of God's love. We make it difficult because we attach so much individual worth with individual achievement. It starts in the lives of too many children. They are pushed to make the all-star teams in their homes. We've standardized the tests that assess whether they are all-stars or not in their schools. And when those kids apply for college or a job, we ask them to hand over a bullet-point summary of their achievements prior to that moment - just to make sure they are worthy of either. Most of those kids - they carry the burden of all that into adulthood. To feel worthy, they feel like they must measure up. Social media has built an empire on that need. We also have a mental health crisis in this country, like never seen before, built on the collective beliefs of too many that they never will measure up. I guess that's why I love God. I guess that's why I cling to that voice, to those words, "now you have at least a sliver of an idea of just how I feel about you every single second I look into your eyes." I cling to them because God's love starts with acknowledging that I will never measure up. That I will always be riddled with imperfection. I cling to God's love because he never asks for a bullet-point summary of my day - which tests I aced and which ones I failed. No, in fact, every time I try to hand God that summary, he pushes my hand aside. Watches my list drop to the ground. Then he takes my hand and puts his summary in it. His bullet-point list. And every day, every moment, when I look down at that list, it simply says: ⏹I love you ⏹I love you ⏹I love you ⏹I love you So today, if you feel like you're not measuring up. Put your summary down. Put out your hand and let God hand you his. When he does, hand over that burden you're carrying to measure up. Because you're with a God who believes you already have.
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
Robert "Keith" CartwrightI am a friend of God, a dad, a runner who never wins, but is always searching for beauty in the race. Archives
July 2025
CategoriesAll Faith Fatherhood Life Mental Health Perserverance Running |