don't worry about being inspiring. Worry about doing what god has given you to do

In the summer of 2016, I ran the Patrick Henry Half Marathon. Well - I ran the first ten miles of it. Then race officials pulled me off the course because I couldn't meet the cutoff time. 

One of the more comforting voices in my disappointment that day was my friend Melissa Betkowski Platt's. Melissa also ran the race that day. 

And finished. 

In a wheelchair. 

Melissa was born with a condition called spina bifida. The only running she's ever done has been in a wheelchair. But the running she's done in that wheelchair, it's inspired thousands of people like me to give it our all in everything we do. 
In running, certainly - but moreso in life. 

So that next summer, when I lined up to tackle that race again, determined to get redemption - and ultimately GET it - there was no more meaningful "I'm proud of you" than my friend Melissa's. 

There's no question, my running journey has brought me new strength and a much needed path to healing. Being able to see life through the eyes of my friend Melissa has been a huge part of that. 

So today, I'm sad. My friend Melissa has been battling cancer this past year. This weekend she is under hospice care; it appears that battle is about to end - so I'm sad. 

The Sunday after that 2017 Patrick Henry Half Marathon, I'd arranged to meet Melissa and her husband Doug at their hotel to interview Melissa for a podcast I was doing at the time. 

I'd been sick for a couple of weeks leading up to that race. Then the race itself left me feeling tired. So I didn't feel like doing that interview like we planned. 

I started thinking of excuses to use to get out of it. 

But God would have none of it. He would not let me come up with an excuse that felt good enough to call Melissa and say let's do this another time. God made it clear to me - that day WAS the time. 

This morning, I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful I have that conversation recorded. To always go back to and listen to. When I do, there's one part of that conversation that will always speak to me. 

I'd suggested to Melissa in our interview that she was inspiring. Melissa would have none of it. She didn't want to be called inspiring. In her eyes, she told me, she was only doing what God had given her the ability to do. 

This God that Melissa and I love. I don't get him some days, I confess that. 

I dearly love him - but I don't get him. I don't get why our friends have to die. I don't get why so many people will have to hurt and cry. I don't get why people who are so breath-takingly strong have to have their last breaths stolen from them by a disease. 
I don't get it. 

But I know this. Most of us who know Melissa, we woud have never met her if it hadn't been for the death of Meg Cross Menzies. It's Meg's death that ultimately brought together the running family that is hurting for Melissa today - and for her husband - and the family that is rallying around them both to fight for and with them. 

I don't get my God some days, but I have come to know in God's eyes death always means new life. New life doesn't always feel good to us - it hurts - but miracles happen in the midst of new life. 

I know that's what Melissa would be saying to me right now. You have new life today - embrace it. Don't worry about being inspiring, worry about doing what God has given you the ability to do. 
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I'm praying for my friend Melissa, her husband Doug, and the countless friends Melissa has made and touched along the way - friends I know who are deeply hurting.