Drugs and alcohol are my solution

​After being sober for 11 years, actor Russell Brand wrote an essay. In the essay, he said, "Drugs and alcohol are not my problem. Reality is my problem, drugs and alcohol are my solution."

One of the things I tell people all the time to NOT tell someone struggling with an addiction or any form of unhealthy habit or hangup - do not tell them "that won't solve anything."

Because as someone who has had his fair share of habits, hangups and addictions - I'm here to tell you, they solve everything for a moment. Often several moments.

That's a hard thing to understand for someone genuinely trying to help someone.

But what makes most helpers the most helpless is they don't understand the reality of the person they're trying to help. On top of that, even when maybe they DO understand that person's reality, they too often think it's a reality someone should be able to handle without turning to substances or eating or shopping or gambling or whatever else they turn to for a moment of peace.

Because here's the thing, people don't start drinking to cope with their reality when it feels bad to you, they do it when it feels bad to them. Your opinion they should be able to handle their reality healthier and more responsibly does nothing to ease the pain of their internal wrestling match.

Alcohol does. Sex does. Shopping does. Eating does.

A lot does.

People's opinions and judgments don't.

As a culture, we are as ill-equipped to deal with the many addiction epidemics as addicts are ill-equipped to deal with their realities. Mostly, that's because we've become far more comfortable judging choices and behaviors than we have exploring the history of those choices.

Because most choices aren't a reflection of that moment in time when they are made, they are personal histories expressed in that single moment in time.

But again, choices are easier to understand than histories.

Choices can be reconciled with one moment of judgment. Histories take time and investment and understanding....

Histories require compassion and empathy.

Gary Zukav says, "When you find an addiction, do not be ashamed. Be joyful. You have found something that you have come to this earth to heal."

When Zukav talks about healing, he isn't talking about the addiction. He's talking about the hurting beneath the addiction, the hurting we get to when we begin wrestling with the addiction. The source of true healing.

Many folks never get there, though. They don't get there because of the shame - because they never get to feel the joy in the journey.

We the helpers, we are often the source of that shame. Too often we add shame and guilt to the realities that too many people were already struggling to cope with.

Our prisons are full of people whose greatest crime was their struggle with reality. As a culture, we've largely decided to control people's realities instead of investing in better ways to help them deal with the ones they have.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Often, substance abuse and other addictions are classified as mental health issues. More and more, I don't believe they are.

They are solutions to the mental health issues. Because you or I think they are bad solutions doesn't eliminate them as solutions.

The day we start to understand that, we'll bring healing to millions of people who've only been able to find it in a bottle.

The day we start to understand that, we'll make a radical shift from judgment to compassion.

I've found that makes all the difference is one's reality.