Father's Day 2022

​For the first four decades of my life, I was never quite sure of what I wanted to be. But I was sure of one thing I didn't want to be.

I didn't want to be a dad.

Yesterday, I took this picture of the boys standing on the North and South Carolina state line inside the Carrowinds amusement park. As I did, it occured to me. The two things I wanted least in life are now the two things I can't imagine doing life without.

Sometimes, when it comes to blessings, God disregards our feelings. He disregards them because he sees blessings within the greater picture of our whole life, not in the tiny boxes within which we try to live and store life.

Thursday night, I was standing out on my balcony taking pictures of a thunderstorm that was rolling through. I looked over, and Elliott was standing next to me taking pictures as well.

Friday morning, we were driving to pick up Ian. Elliott said, I got some cool lightning pictures after you went to bed last night. I said, "that's awesome - I love that you love storms. Maybe you could be a stormchaser someday."

Elliott, being just as serious as a teen can be, said, "I don't think so. I saw the movie Twister - that looks like a dangerous job."

He went back to doing what he was doing, like we'd just had a meaningless conversation. I went back to driving, my heart and soul full of life.

We were driving home yesterday. Ian asked me, how far are we from home? I said, we probably have about three hours, why? He said, I have to pee. And I said, well I guess you're happier than anyone that we are almost home.

He looked at me for a second - puzzled - but then started laughing a laugh only Ian can laugh. And he said through his laughter - half joking and half threatening - I will pee my pants!!

I went back to driving (and looking for a rest area), my heart and soul full of life.

How backward did I once see life when I believed being a dad would rob me of life, when in reality, today, being a dad is what gives me life.

On Father's Day, I'm reminded, God breathed life into the world so that life could breathe life into us. Sometimes we miss that - sometimes life robs us of life - when we try to breathe in the air our own life and not the breath of God.

I'm also encouraged this morning by the truth that I fill my father God's heart and soul with life. I fill it with life when he is standing on a balcony taking pictures of a storm with me. I fill it with life when he's in the front seat with me laughing about bathroom breaks.

The thing is, God always wanted to be a father. He always wanted me to be his child.

And now, more than ever, I completely understand that.