Fear points me to my doubts, god points me to my potential

About 14 years ago, prior to moving to our home here in Ashland, I was struggling through a job I'd been working at for 13 years. There were a lot of reasons for the struggle, but for a year I'd felt like it was time to move on.

But I couldn't.

We'd just had a new baby - our first. The position I was in paid for our house and my vehicle. We had good health insurance and all the benefits one could ask for in a job when it comes to safety and security.

Every time I thought about leaving, even on the days when I was 100% sure it was the right thing to do, a voice would say you'll never make it out there without this job.

I look back now and know that voice was fear.

I was on the road traveling around North Carolina near the end of this year-long struggle. I'd called home to let Katie know I was on my way. I heard our little baby Elliott babbling on the other end of that conversation. A baby I hadn't seen in a few days.

As I hung up and drove on, I heard God say, Keith, you've heard boys talk for years about how hard it is to grow up with dad not present. You're about to be a dad not present.

For almost a year, I listened to fear call my name. That night I heard God call my name. Shortly after, we were packed up and headed to Virginia to start a new life here.

For a year, I let fear write a book in my life about why moving on was impossible. For the last 14 years, since moving to Virginia, God has written a book about what life looks like when we listen to God's voice and not fear's.

For a year, fear filled me with doubt. God's voice has turned out to be nothing but assurance.

I guess that's where fear comes from, isn't it? The lack of assurance. I can picture God now, in all of those conversations I was having with myself: We can't afford to leave. We'll never find jobs. We'll never find a place to live. All of our friends are here not somewhere else.

I can picture God in the background, shaking his head, thinking, or maybe even screaming, oh my God he's listening to fear again!! (Does God really scream out oh my God)?

I think some days it's easy to believe that God doesn't start talking until fear shuts up. Like, God is just patiently waiting to get me alone in a truck on a quiet drive home so he can have a turn to talk.

The reality is, though, God is always calling our name. In fact, if you're feeling fear, that's a good signal God is calling your name louder than ever. Fear isn't an indication God isn't talking, it's probably a better indication what we're most afraid of is what God has to say.

This morning I read Psalm 3. Here is David, running for his life from his own son and that son's army of supporters for crying out loud. David says thousands of people are after me, God. They are coming from everywhere. And, yet, David says this:

But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.

Oh I love that image. God calling my name: Keith. God gently lifting my head and saying LISTEN TO ME - I've got this.

If you have fear today, pause for a minute. Quietly pause and just imagine God lifting your head. Imagine him pushing fear to the side and looking into your eyes and saying, I have something to say here.

Then you will hear him tell you, I've got this. You will hear him tell you, I am your shield.