Lately, I've wrestled with this premium the Christian faith puts on the forgiveness of sins. Not because I don't believe in the power of forgiveness - or the necessity of it - but because I see too many forgiven people living in continued shame and hopelessness. No, the more I read my bible, the more I believe Jesus is far more interested in healing my deepest wounds than addressing my need for forgiveness - a forgiveness that many days my wounds won't begin to allow me to recognize a need for. Let alone ask for it. We shared a video in the training I helped lead last week. We often show this video. It has a powerful message. A teaching. But last week, after seeing this video hundreds of times, I took away an entirely new take on it. In the video, a teacher has an encounter with a challenging student. He has a difficult history and has clearly showed up to disrupt the class. But the teacher, who has years of experience, knows there's a story living in this student deeper than disruption. The teacher starts pointing out the student's strength. He has charisma, she tells him. And, because of that charisma, she tells him he would make the perfect morning greeter for her class. She gives him a job. Not because she wants to put him to work, but because she wants him to know she sees his worth beneath his hurt. The video made me think of an encounter Jesus had with one of his students: Peter. You may know the story. Peter was the often arrogant and boastful student. "Oh, they will have to kill me before I ever let them kill you Jesus!" Yet, before Jesus was crucified, on three different occasions, Peter denied even knowing Jesus to save his own boastful skin. Then Jesus rises from the dead. And finds Peter. To forgive him? No, I don't think so. I think he finds him to heal his wounds. In the 21st chapter of John, their conversation goes like this: When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. Why did Jesus keep poking at Peter? Why did he keep asking him over and over - do you love me? To hurt him? To rub it in his face that he had denied him? No. I don't believe so. I think Jesus wanted to meet Peter at the place of Peter's deepest pain, and then there tell Peter, I have a job for you. Not because I want to put you to work, but because I believe in who you are. My people need someone to look after them; I believe you are the right man for the job. Too often, our idea of forgiving one another is simply putting aside or moving beyond the offenses of another that have disturbed us. And also too often, that doesn't begin to recognize and understand and maybe even long to heal the wounds beneath those offenses. I know a lot of people who will show up to church this Sunday because they've heard it's a place that will help them find peace for their hurts and their wounds. And yet, it's entirely possible, many of them will leave knowing they are forgiven yet feel not one step closer to healed. Sometimes forgiving someone simply says I don't think you're unworthy. But that is not nearly the same as someone saying I see your worth. It's not nearly the same as saying, in spite of all you've done to me and to yourself, in spite of all you've been through and in spite of this unloving story you are telling yourself and others - I see your worth. I see it so much, in fact, I have a job for you....
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Robert "Keith" CartwrightI am a friend of God, a dad, a runner who never wins, but is always searching for beauty in the race. Archives
November 2024
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