God and goodness are found at the back of the pack

​We live in a world that makes it very difficult to come to know the God I'm trying to know. We live in a world that makes it very difficult for me to become the person God wants me to become.

Mainly, because we live in a world that many days - and in many places - is built upside down from the kind of world God is building. God is building a world where the last are going to be first.

That IS the world he is relentlessly building.

And many days, I and we - we are the opposition. We are not the "with" in God's plan. Because many days, our desires and choices are focused on being first. Whole days pass when my focus is on "how do I get Keith to the front of the line?" Whole days - maybe weeks - pass when I don't even take a glance at the people in the back of the line.

Brian Mclaren says, "If you hoard your blessings while others suffer in need, that's not true aliveness. True aliveness comes when we receive blessings and become a blessing to others. It's not a blessing racket - figuring out how to plot prosperity for me and my tribe. It's a blessing economy where God plots goodness for all."

For me, Mclaren's words aren't a theory.

Some days I feel like my life has been one grand chase of feeling alive. Trust me, there's very little I have not experimented with in that pursuit. The results of that experiment? The days I've felt most alive have been the days I've focused on helping the last become first.

So why not stay there? Why not hang out at the back of the line where maybe I don't always feel good, but I always feel alive?

I think it's because I've bought into the lie the world wants us to believe. That feeling alive and feeling good are always the same thing. So many of us - hand raised high here - get to chasing the things that makes us feel good, only to get them, stand on the podium holding that trophy high above our heads, only to realize, well that doesn't feel as alive as I thought it would feel...

In running, I am that back of the line guy. I'm often the guy that when I cross the finish line, the race can officially be declared over. Race volunteers, we can pack up now.

And this back of the pack guy, I've had many front of the pack runners come back to help me get to that finish line. Often at the expense of their own race. And over and over, they will say, that was one of the most meaningful running experiences they've had.

I'm not sure there is anything more symbolic for me than that image. A runner running to the back of the pack to help another runner be his or her best. It's this image I have of God, and how he spends his days.

I see God running all day long to the back of the pack of every race on earth, helping the last runner home. When I go to bed exhausted from my 25 mile trail race, God is still out their running. To the back of the pack to help that last runner home.

Side by side God is running WITH them. He is seeking goodness WITH them. And in God's eyes, there is no expense to that.

In God's eyes, that is alive - running to the back of the pack to make sure everyone experiences blessings. The person on the podium, and the person who crosses the finish line long after the podium has been taken down. God's idea of alive is making sure they both feel EQUALLY alive.

This is a tough world to get to know THAT God in.

This is a world that wants us to believe alive is at the front of the line. It's a world that pressures us to push our way there. Alive is first place, not last.

But you are like me, I'm sure of it. You've ventured to the back of the line before, you've helped the last become first, and my guess is, like me, you felt alive doing it.

I think it's because there, you ran into God - you ran into God and his love for everyone.

I'm sure that is where God wants me to become the me is is trying to help me become.