God's control isn't control, it's I love you too

​If we constantly surrender to the will of someone in our human relationships, that doesn't always work out well for us. That's because most human relationships have at least a bit, and often quite a bit, of self-interest in them.

Maybe we don't admit it. Maybe we don't even see it. But rarely do we enter into relationships with someone else when all we want, solely, is what is best for them.

That makes it difficult, if not impossible, to understand this relationship God wants to have with us. The God who has entered that relationship wanting only what is best for us. The God who is the only one who KNOWS what's best for us.

God's relational motives are always others centered. Me and you and us centered. Christ died on the cross for us, not for Him.

I believe in this God. I love this God with all my heart. But when you've spent your whole life trying to control the control people have over you, when you've spent your whole life periodically rebelling against that control, trusting God and loving God feel like two totally different challenges.

Love doesn't always readily or easily translate to trust in any relationship.

Trust equals surrender. To yield control. How do I give God full control of my life without trying to control the control he wants over it?

I'm afraid that is not my gift. It is not my strength. It is not my relational practice.

Nor is it the practice for many. Many who are weary of falling under someone's control. Many who protect themselves from it to preserve their well-being.

How is it, then, that I am supposed to surrender to God's control, God's will and direction, believing THAT control IS in my best interest?

I can't answer that for you. But I can answer it for me. All while confessing I have a long way to go with trying to resist controlling God's will for my life.

But I know this. Today I am where God wants me to be. I've arrived here largely resisting God leading me to where God wants me to be. I've arrived here largely trying to do things my way and not God's way.

Yet, still, here I am.

The difference between getting where God wants me to be following MY will and following God's will is the difference between stopping a thousand times along the way asking for directions, it's the difference between feeling totally lost along the way, and having Siri say make a right at the next light, you're almost there.

It's the difference between a life of confusion and a life of confidence.

It's the difference between a life of turmoil and a life of peace.

We get confused by God's will because it doesn't always feel like the kind of love we want to feel. It doesn't always feel like the kind of happiness we want to experience. It doesn't always feel like the kind of safety we want to live in.

But no relationship comes with the guarantee we will feel those things. Not with each other and not with God.

What God's love DOES come with is the promise that if I follow him, I will always get to know I am going in the right direction. And in a world when so many of my struggles are rooted in "I have no idea where I'm going or what I'm doing" - that is no small promise.

This world can never fully come through with the promise that I have your best interest in my heart.

God can.

And in my world, God has.

Whether I've trusted him or not.

The key is to love God, not just any love, but love deep enough to trust. Trust that his control is something to embrace and not resist.

The key is to love him enough to know his control is not control at all.

It's actually God's way of saying, I love you too.