great relationships are great at making great deals out of the little things

​I've always been a good dad. I don't ever wrestle with that. The wrestling actually started when I could no longer accept being a good dad; I wanted to be a great one.

The good dad in me - he made sure his boys had good things. He made sure they had 'big pleasures that count the most.' They had big vacations. Big video games. Big phones. Big meals. A bigger house than many.

I was a good dad because I was big on making sure my boys could live big.

Today, this desire I have to be a great dad, it's built on the idea of making a great big deal out of everything. Especially the things that would be no deal at all if I didn't make one out of them.

I had a friend say something to me the other day that was profound. She said, "it's funny how everything becomes more special when you want it to be."

Read that again...

Here's the thing about those great big pleasures - they don't need me to be pleasurable. The boys looking over the edge of the Grand Canyon, that's special. But it requires nothing of me but transportation to be special.

The boys playing Xbox, that's fun, but it requires nothing of me but a paycheck for them to have fun.

All the big things ARE the pleasure. They require little or no assistance from me.

I was throwing the ball with the boys in a big open field Sunday. Ian makes a nice catch over the middle. Suddenly I'm screaming and dancing and yelling "that one will make the ESPN top ten plays to night. Hit record baby. It will be there. Mark my words!!"

Ian looked around for a minute to see who could hear his dad yelling like a fool. But I swear, I think I saw him pull out his phone to make sure Sportscenter would be recorded at 6....

I know I saw him smiling.

Maybe that's where we get this relationship thing wrong.

Many marriages start with big pleasures. Expensive weddings and extravagant honeymoons. The events themselves provide much of the pleasure. But then the relationship requires making a great deal out of the little things. Not all spouses are good at that.

The boss makes a big deal out of you when you start that new job. There are all the new gal or guy celebrations. But then leadership becomes about making a great big deal out of the little things. Not all bosses are good at that.

We join the church and there are these great big God moments. Baptisms and Confirmations and ceremonies. But then it falls upon the church (the people, not the building) to make a great big deal out of the little things in our lives. Not all churches are good at that.

I think, maybe, too many relationships are dependent on the great big pleasures, and are failing because the people in them aren't very good at making a great deal out of the little ones.

They are failing because not everyone realizes everything becomes more special when you want it to.