Have zero expectations and just go live

​Like many, I've gotten hooked on the show Ted Lasso.

Last night, the soccer team Lasso coaches was watching film of their previous game. It was the latest in a streak of winless games. There came a point when they started blaming one another for their futility.

Then coach Lasso stops the film.

He tells the guys they are going to become 'roma-communists.' Clearly - like me - they didn't get that designation. So, he explained to them this means they are going to adopt the belief that the story is going to end Ok. You know - in those romance commedy movies the guy always gets the girl or the girl always gets the guy.

Everything works out just like it's supposed to.

Lasso tells them this has to start with them having zero expectations and giving in to the belief things will work out exactly like they are supposed to.

As I listened to him, I felt like he was coaching me up. Because there are days when I feel like I'm in the middle of a losing streak. And as I listened to him coach me, I wanted to object.

Surely - coach Lasso - you're not suggesting my life has worked out exactly like it was supposed to up to this point?

Two things occurred to me as I was debating the coach on the screen in my living room 🤦‍♂️.

One - if there is a designer of 'how my life is supposed to go' - the designer doesn't seem to be inclined to assure me or deny that I'm right where I am supposed to be. It's a never ending pondering...

And two - and probably a more important point for me - if my life DOES feel like it's not where it's supposed to be, it's because I have some expectations it's supposed to be somewhere different than it is.

If I feel like I'm on a losing streak - it's my expectations that are driving that, not my life.

Too often, I let my expecations of life become more powerful than my passion for living it. Too often, when I get to measuring where I am in life against where I expect to be in life - I lose my fire for living this life.

One of the stars on the team realized he'd quit having fun. So instead of focusing on the losing streak, he started focusing on having fun while he was playing the game.

He started joking with the guys around him.

He started playing with the kind of energy he played with when he was a kid.

And the team started winning.

A funny thing happens when we stop worrying about WHERE we are in life and start making the most of WHO we are. Because the reality is, most of the expectations we have for our life - they often fall far short of who we can become and what life can ultimately be.

We are kings and queens of selling ourselves short.

So today, adopt your best 'roma-communist' attitude (and maybe was Sleepless In Seattle to get you started). Let go of expectations. Trust things will work out exactly as they are supposed to.

And you go do you.