Healing Is Often More Complicated Than Desire

​In the book of John, we hear the story of Jesus asking a man who been an invalid for 38 years, "Do you want to get well?"

Seems like a ridiculous question, doesn't it? Hey, Jesus seems to suggest, I know you've been coming to this healing pool (at least mythically) every day for 38 years, begging for money to support your family, are you sure you want to have a different life?

It IS a ridiculous question until we realize that in the Roman culture at that time, it was not considered shameful for someone who had legitimate ailments to beg. In fact, many families relied on the daily income of beggars.

Additionally, the rest of society saw giving to the beggars as a spiritual way to stay on God's good side. So, beggars gave givers the opportunity to gain religious favor while at the same time receiving sustenance for themselves.

That's why when Jesus asked, "Do you want to get well?" he was actually asking the invalid if he was ready to give up the only role he'd ever known, give up his place in the only system that had given him a place and purpose and acceptance.

In the movie Goodwill Hunting there's a powerful scene between Will (Matt Damon) and Sean (Robin Williams).

Sean repeatedly tells Will, “It’s not your fault.”

At first, Will brushes it off: “Yeah, I know.”

Sean keeps repeating it: “It’s not your fault.”

Finally, Will breaks down - he couldn’t let go of the story that his pain defined him. He had grown so used to his trauma that the idea of living beyond it was terrifying.

I have been realizing a lot lately how much easier it is to want to heal than it is to actually heal.

Sometimes we cling to brokenness because it’s familiar, even functional. It gives us a story to tell, a reason to be seen, and a space where people understand why we’re limping. But healing? Healing demands a new story, and often, a new level of vulnerability.

In the story in John, Jesus isn’t condemning the man by asking if he wants to be well. He’s recognizing that healing means surrendering the identity he'd built in survival mode.

There are a lot of people around you who might look incredibly strong as they carry others through storms, but inside, they long for someone to carry them. They might be admired for their strength, while inwardly they long for rest. They often wear a badge of honor that says SURVIVAL, while longing to have one that says WHOLE.

People who are unwell frequently have stories much more complicated than someone unwilling to get well. Jesus recognized that in the man at the healing pool. His question to the man was filled with far more compassion than judgment.

Our wounds can easily become our identity, and letting go of them means facing a future we don’t know how to navigate.

Do you want to get well?

Sometimes the answer to that is much more complicated than one might think.