Home CanBe Found In The Most Unlikely People And Places

​Norm!!

Maybe no other name so publicly demonstrated the value of being seen and known.

When I heard that George Wendt (Norm from Cheers) passed away yesterday, my heart hurt a bit. Until it smiled. For over a decade I related to this Cheers barfly named Norm. Until I reflected on his death yesterday, I'm not sure I ever understood quite why. Certainly not with the depth I do now.

Norm was funny.

Norm hung out in a bar, which I did quite a bit of back when I was relating to Norm.

Norm was a friend - a good friend.

But in so many ways, again, in more ways than I knew at that time, Norm was me.

Every time Norm walked into Cheers, the whole bar yelled, “Norm!” I wonder if Norm walked into Cheers more for that yell than he ever did the beer? When you are lost in the world, people yelling your name is often the sweetest kind of way to feel found.

When you wonder if you belong, hearing your name is assurance that you do.

I don't know if we offer each other the gift of name enough these days. I think we should.

Norm and Cliff. What an unlikely friendship. It was often comically misguided. In their relationship, Norm showed us that friendship isn’t about perfection, it’s about presence. He was always there for Cliff, even if being there was often all he had to give.

Presence. In a world full of the next luxurious gift, we seem to lose sight of the gift of presence. Norm showed up to hear his name: I wonder if Cliff showed up to simply hear Norm's voice?

And then there was Norm the mentor. In his own mentor way. I loved how he was always trying to help Woody when he was struggling with his job at the bar or with life in general. Norm wasn't a pedestal mentor, he was a shoulder to shoulder mentor. Always beside you, never looking down on you.

I think Norm got that in return. Here was a man who couldn't keep a job, had a struggling marriage, battled his weight, maybe drank a little too much - but at Cheers, no one ever looked down on Norm. Maybe that's why a man you just know was wrestling some inner demons - demons he hid with his jokes - never disappeared.

He kept showing up.

When we keep showing up in spaces free of judgment and full of acceptance - we don't feel a need to hide. We feel drawn, not pressured, to keep going.

In many ways that is what we come to call home in life. The people and places that give us the most permission to be real. Even when we are broken and struggling, the people and places that call our name out loud, with excitement, the moment we walk through the door, they define home.

Norm!!

There's a moving scene in Cheers' final episode.

Norm: "You know, Sam, I always knew you'd come back to her."

Sam: "Her who?"

Norm: "The bar."

Norm's exchange here shows that to him, and many, Cheers was more than just a place; it was a community. A friend.

For many, it was home.

Norm!!

Rest easy friend. May your enduring loyalty and warmth remind us all of the value of steadfast friendships and the comfort of familiar places. May your legacy be found in the truth that being a good friend doesn't require perfection - just consistency, empathy, and a good sense of humor.

I would like to imagine that when you walked through the gates of heaven you received a simple but thunderous roar:

Norm!!!