Human Connection Is Not Always Our Natural Instinct

​I met my old friend Maureen for coffee yesterday. It had been many years since I'd seen her. There had been a few text messages along the way. I frequently comment on her Facebook world traveler photos. But actually sitting in one another's presence, well that was an oft mentioned good idea that never became reality.

Not until yesterday.

And honestly, even yesterday wouldn't have happened if Maureen hadn't pushed a little to make it happen.

I'm glad she did.

She'd reached out wanting to support my book project. I said I was really grateful and that we should catch up. She said how about next week?

Wow. This is a good idea suddenly under the influence of escalation....

When we met, Maureen said that push for her is hard to do, but she's been trying to be better at it.

The reality is, that push is often hard for most of us to do. Our minds and our hearts are full of desire to be connected to one another. But as much as we want to feel connected, feeling connected isn't a natural process.

It requires work. Intention. Follow-through. And it often requires sacrifice.

I think back to the story of Adam and Eve. They had this beautiful, unbroken connection with God in an absolutely stunning garden. They were surrounded by abundance - nothing missing, nothing broken. Love, provision, safety - it was all there.

But then Eve got distracted by that stupid apple. And Adam, too, in his silence and passivity. Their connection to God, and to each other, suddenly required effort.

It required vulnerability.

Honesty.

Showing up.

Their natural longing for connection was still there. But the moment brokenness entered the story, connection was no longer instinctual. It had to be chosen. Fought for. Cultivated.

I fear our distractions have never been more, and our desire to cultivate has never been less. I fear that more than ever we've come to believe connection should be something that always feels right - we demand it to come easy - and the moment it doesn't, we are more prone to hiding than to fighting.

I confessed to Maureen that it would have been MUCH easier, MUCH more comfortable, for me to sit in my home yesterday morning, watch the rain through my apartment window and not through my windshield driving to meet her.

It would have been much easier to hide than to cultivate.

But when I left our time together yesterday, I was reminded just how dangerous apples can be. Yes, I know, one a day keeps the doctor away. But if we eat enough apples we can start to believe apples are the answer, apples are all we need. Until we're living in a garden buried so deep in apples that we can no longer see what we need most.

Connection.

Catching up with my old friend yesterday, sharing stories about our kids, sharing stories of victory and defeat, sharing stories of hope and where more hope is needed - that was life giving!!

From the moments of our birth our greatest source of life is human connection. A source of life that traces all the way back to a garden.

Yet, that source of life doesn't come natural to us.

It doesn't come easy.

It requires cultivation.

And sometimes, cultivation sounds a lot like, "how about next week?"

I often hear follow your instincts.

That is often not the best advice.