If God Made You He's In Love With Me

​It is possible, I suppose, for me to believe that life had no creator. That life is in one way or another an accident of sorts.

I don't believe that. But there is no great distance between those who do believe it and me who does not.

What I can't come to see as an accident, however, no matter how far my imagination allows me to go, is love. Love to me feels too far beyond an accident; love just had to overwhelm one so deeply that the one couldn't help but long to share it.

Couldn't help but re-create it.

I feel quite lucky to believe that, honestly. Lucky because I never wanted children and yet there he was, my firstborn, me staring at him just a few hours old, overwhelmed by something I had never in my life experienced.

Not like that.

Love.

And in the very midst of that wave, as if they were one in the same, the only thing I could think and feel was God. I didn't invited God into the emotion. I didn't intentionally ponder if this feeling was somehow connected to God. God simply showed up, barged in, as if dying to make sure I knew there is no difference in this thing I was feeling and the God who created it.

As if needing, in the most powerful way he ever had, to make sure I knew that my own life was a creation made out of God and this love.

It has been over 18 years since then. And today I will watch that first child walk across a stage and accept a high school diploma. There will surely be many emotions. But my intention will be to sift through them to find the one I most want to focus on.

Gratitude.

Gratitude, for even though in many ways I still have no idea what I believe about this life, I know beyond any doubt of my own what love is.

And I do know that if God created your life, he most certainly must love mine.

My life changed drastically just over 18 years ago. No graduation will add even a single thing to that. But it will indeed serve as a powerful reminder. A reassurance beyond any assurance one could ever see coming....

Love.

Love beyond anything I will ever be able to see as accidental.