In Prayer, how often do we match god's passion?

Over the last several years, I've had more and more opportunities for public speaking. Frequently, after these opportunities, folks I've just shared time with will come up to me and say, "you're a gifted speaker." Or they'll tell me, "You really are passionate about your work."

It's always humbling to hear those things. But I don't really think public speaking is my gift, and I'm not so sure it's passion that fuels my heart for my messages.

I've come to believe that more than ever the last two months.

With the Covid-19 crisis, and the restriction on large gatherings, public speaking opportunities have dwindled to zero. My speaking and training is done exclusively through zoom now.

I don't know how many of you have used zoom, but if you're the speaker in a zoom event, or while using any similar online platform, you're essentially speaking to the Brady Bunch. You speak while staring at a screen filled with neatly organized rows of boxes filled with faces.

I've not had one person tell me I'm a gifted speaker after these events. I've not had one person comment on my passion.

The truth is, I struggle speaking this way. I'm not afraid of a camera or a microphone. The ego in me sort of likes them both. But I struggle not seeing the faces of the people I'm talking to. Because my real gift, I think, is reading the hearts of people in the audience. I thrive on seeing their faces and reading their emotions and connecting with their souls as deeply as possible.

Many times my speaking isn't driven by the words I came to say, but more by the hearts I discovered when I got there.

I've been reading through the biblical Psalms lately. And in these early Psalms, it's so clear to me that David is crying out to God like he's speaking to a God that is right there with him.

In Psalm 6, David says:

Turn, O Lord, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love.

That is not a David looking into a zoom meeting. That is a David who can see his God's heart filled with love for him.

Oh, how often I treat my prayer time with God like a zoom meeting. I have my words all prepared and memorized. The 6AM meeting time comes, I log on, stare at the screen, recite what I came to say, then log off. On to the next meeting.

So many times, before I pray and while I pray and after I pray - so many times I skip the step of actually reading the heart of my God. I skip the step of imagining his face, reading his emotions, and connecting deeply with his soul.

I wondered this morning. I wondered - how often does God say to me after I've prayed to him, "Keith, you were really passionate about that conversation you just had with me?"

I know God felt that often when David came to him in the Psalms. I don't think that was a God thing. I think that was a David thing.

I think David could vividly picture God bending over and listening to him. I think David spent more time connecting with the heart of the audience than preparing his words.