Influence, Not Control

​I was driving the boys to Kings Dominion yesterday. The traffic was awful. And there are few situations better than awful traffic to observe people trying to control what they can't control.

You'll witness people diving in and out of lanes, trying to gain a one spot advantage.

There will be folks driving on shoulders and even occasionally in medians to bypass the congestion.

And inevitably, you'll observe the human frustrations and tempers that erupt as drivers come to realize they have zero control over the uncontrollable.

Yesterday, I did a good job resisting the urge to control what I can't control. Instead, I focused on what I could influence - the two boys in the back seat.

There was nothing on earth I could do to free the traffic jam. But I had every opportunity in the world to influence how two future drivers would handle THEIR future traffic jams.

Will my influence make a difference?

I don't know. But it sure had a much better chance of making a difference than the chances I had of doing anything about the traffic.

I'm not always good at resisting the urge to control what I can't control. But I'm better than ever.

Maybe it's an age thing.

As I get older, I'm more committed than ever to making the best use of my time. Maybe because I'm old enough to reflect with some regret on all the time I've wasted. And how much of that waste was me trying to control things I can't control.

More and more, I find myself wanting to hand over battles to control in favor of grabbing hold of opportunities to influence.

Sure, our influence is never guaranteed. We won't always have the kind of influence we want on the things we try to influence. But I know one thing that absolutely IS a guarantee.

I will NEVER be able to contol the uncontrollable. That is the surest waste of time and energy there is. It's the best reason to stay out of the medians and engaged with the boys in the back seat.