It's possible for life to be falling apart and coming together at the same time

​I am sitting here this morning, looking at this picture - 4 years ago today - and in many ways I remember it as sort of a dream come true. Yet, very few people had any idea the nightmare I was living at the very same time.

Is it possible for life to be falling apart and coming together at the same time?

I was at the Soles4Souls headquarters in Nashville, Tennessee four years ago this morning. I was running the final 5k of my Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee (and back 😭). The final 5k of a 1220 mile summer.

I look back at that this morning and find it incomprehensible that for 118 consecutive days I ran 10 miles or more each day. That is not my current training plan!!!

I look back at that this morning and find it miraculous that we set out to raise $1,000, yet so many friends came along side me and helped move that over $6,000. All to support a cause that remains very dear to me.

Yet, when I look back, neither of those two amazing feats are what I remember most. What I remember most is a summer of running. Not running a race, but running from life.

The most miraculous part of every mile of that race is not just that I didn't want to run any of those miles, most days I had no desire to get out of bed.

Honestly, most days I had no desire to continue doing life.

You would think when you see someone posting daily about getting closer to a finish line in an amazing race, seemingly full of life and miles and energy, that they are not at the same time wishing the finish line of life was coming much more quickly than the Tennessee state line.

But I will tell you, you can't always assume that about people's posts.

It was a summer of grief. A summer of life falling apart as if the whole virtual state of Tennessee was being pummeled by a great virtual bomb. Only there is nothing ever virtual about grief.

There is some great irony, as I think about it, that I spent a summer running a race in Virginia while pretending to be in Tennessee. Because at no point that summer did I not find myself wishing I could be anyone but me.

The good news, the great news, maybe even the miraculous news, is that is not where I am today. Today I would not choose to be anyone but me, or live any life other than my own.

I don't race toward many finish lines these days, (Tennessee is a big state😊), but I also don't wish for any finish lines before their time.

As I write you these words, I wonder, how did that happen? How did the darkest period of life land here?

In possibility, hope, and light?

I suppose it's the pattern of my life, in many ways. No matter how complicated things get, and life can get complicated, I keep moving. It hasn't always looked pretty. Or healthy. But I have always kept moving.

In this case, during the dark summer of 2020, it helped that I was moving toward a beautiful group of people and an organization I love, backed by people encouraging me to just keep going.

And so, I kept going.

I guess I just want you to know this morning that sometimes life coming together feels a lot like life falling apart. Sometimes dark hides the light, but the light is still there.

It's still there if you'll keep moving.

Moving in love and service to others, even if at times that feels like it is doing no service to you.

Just keep moving, please.

Sometimes getting where you're supposed to be means going through places and spaces you wish you'd never have to go.

But go.

Go and just keep going.

Because it's absolutely possible to be falling apart and coming together at the same time. In fact, I've come to believe that is almost always the order of things.

If you don't believe me, just keep going, and see for yourself.