Jesus sees him in us, not our monster stories

​There's a story in the bible in the book of Mark.

Three women, Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of James and Salome, encountered an angel at the tomb of the crucified Jesus. The angel told them that Jesus had risen from the grave.

The angel then said these powerful words: "Go tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.'"

Why are these words so powerful?

Because Peter WAS a disciple. Why didn't the angel simply say, "go tell the disciples?"

The answer, I think, is simple. Jesus knew Peter was wrestling with his decision to betray Jesus three times before he was crucified. Jesus knew Peter was wrestling with shame, and likely wrestling with it alone.

This was Jesus' way of letting Peter know, I am with you.

And maybe it was Jesus' way of letting me know as well, I am with you.

Jesus knows the power of shame. He addressed it often when encountering hurting people during his ministry. Jesus knows just how much space shame takes up in our lives, and our brains, and how it can come to control us if we don't find a way to release it.

Shame takes up so much space because it becomes a story we tell ourselves every day. And we tell it ONLY to ourselves because we don't feel safe enough to share it with anyone else.

If we tell that story to ourselves long enough, it becomes the only story we know of ourselves. It becomes our identity.

It also becomes our wiring. It becomes the brain patterns through which we filter every story in our life. If you spend decades telling yourself you're a monster, then every story in your life is a monster story.

That is truth. That is science.

Jesus knew that. It's why he took steps to make sure Peter knew he didn't consider him a monster. Jesus couldn't let Peter get stuck in a pattern of reliving his betrayal story alone, because he knew Peter would eventually come to believe he's a monster who betrays his friends.

Jesus had much bigger plans for Peter's mistakes than forever retelling a monster story. Jesus has much bigger plans for me and you than forever retelling ourselves our monster stories.

I can hear Jesus this morning. I can hear him say, "go tell the disciples and Keith he is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him just as he told you."

Jesus wants me to feel as singularly reminded as he was reminding Peter: I created you in my image. That is the only story I filter your story through.

You see you as a monster. I see you as me.

Maybe that's a reminder we all need. Maybe it's a reminder that will allow us to be more accepting of ourselves. And more accepting of others.

Maybe it will allow us to get to a point where we can share our monster stories and not live with them. Not let them take up the neural space they ultimately come to take up.

And maybe, just maybe, we can become like Jesus. We can begin reminding each other, like Jesus did Peter, you are not the ugly story you've come to believe you are.

Jesus didn't create anything ugly about you. He still doesn't see anything ugly about you.

You seeing ugly in you is not about to change that.

It never will.

Remember that the next time you tell yourself your monster story.