Dr. Alan Shore studies the brain. He says joy is the feeling we get in the presence of someone who is obviously happy to be with us. For him, this isn't a theory. It's science. It's our biology.
As babies, our sense of attachment is built on someone showing up to comfort us with a smile. In that moment, our stress turns to joy. It's our earliest definition of love. A definition that gets wired into our brains. And maybe, in those earliest moments, the definitions of love and joy become very similar? I suppose we could think that's a baby thing. We could believe that as we get older the definitions of love and joy change. I walked into a packed conference room earlier this week. I was preparing to deliver a presentation. I love doing that, but I am always some level of nervous. For some reason, this week it was at a higher level. Then I ran into several friends and colleagues I've met over the years. All of them approached me with giant smiles. My nervousness turned to joy in an instant. So for me, I don't think those definitions ever change. One of my favorite scriptures in the bible - scriptures beautifully poured out recently in the song "The Blessing" - say this in the book of Numbers: The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; The Lord turn his face to you and give you peace. I do wonder these days if our path to finding joy in the face of God is finding joy in the faces of one another. And I worry, if that is so, is the reason so many people are living lives without joy tied to searches for joy in places other than faces? Is it tied to the reality that our faces have become largely hidden from one another? And no, that is not a statement on a pandemic or masks. Our faces have been hidden from one another long before masks came along. Masks have just become a convenient place to blame for hidden instead of accepting responsibility for hidden. Our faces have been hidden from one another as we stare at screens. They've been hidden from one another as we bury our heads in our work. They've been hidden from one another as we race from one thing to another without ever stopping to smile at one another. Smiles do require stopping. Stillness. We are too often no longer fans of either. I'm afraid we've abandoned the faces we were wired to find joy in because we believe there must be some greater source of joy out there. That is a belief that goes against our biology. And I believe - against our creation. It's a belief I felt in its truest form standing in that conference room watching joy approach me. I think many of us long for more joy in our lives. I think we long to spread it. There's a simple thing we can do today to promote both. We can stop someone. And smile. And let our face shine upon them. We can let them know this smile is dedicated to you. This smile is quite simply because I'm happy to be with you. I promise you, you will have increased the joy in the world. It is science. It is faith. It is love.
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Robert "Keith" CartwrightI am a friend of God, a dad, a runner who never wins, but is always searching for beauty in the race. Archives
February 2025
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