Joyfully giving your best to each day

​Last night, I gathered online with a few dozen friends to reflect about the life of my friend Melissa, who is in hospice care. Friends from all over the country. Friends, for the most part, who'd had limited interaction with the friend we were reflecting about. 

There were a lot of tears. There were stories. And in the air of this online room - there was an unmistakable and deep admiration. 

I reflected on that when I went to bed. What was it about her that made so many people love her, made so many people want to gather and sit together and share. 

We talked about Melissa for an hour and a half. If I were to put one theme to the stories - a theme to what it was about Melissa that people will hold on to - maybe even work a little harder to make a quality about themselves other people will admire in them - it was the way Melissa joyfully pursued giving her best to every day. 

It's true. 

Most of us know Melissa from our running community. None of us ever saw Melissa run in the 'traditional' sense of the word; Melissa has spent most of her life in a wheelchair. But all of us have seen Melissa wheeling her chair through a street crowded with 'traditional' runners - looking like she belonged - often with the biggest smile of them all that she was out there competing. 

I think the secret to that smile was Melissa had this capacity to focus on what she was doing in the moment - on what she COULD do - and not on what wasn't possible. Melissa was always so focused on doing the best she could with her day that she refused to waste energy worrying about what she couldn't do with it. 

I think that's where the admiration comes in. 

I look at Melissa and realize I don't have nearly has many things in my life to think about when it comes to considering what it is I can't do. And yet, I'm afraid, there are probably a lot of days that I see more obstacles in my life than Melissa ever saw in hers. 

There are too many days, I think, that I'm frowning about what I don't have or what I can't do. Those are days - obviously - not spent joyfully doing the best I can with my day.

Alexi Pappas says, "What is crucial is to give one hundred percent of what you have every day, whether it's one hundred percent of crap or one hundred percent of gold." 

I think too often I sit around waiting for the gold days to come along - days that will make it easier for me to give it all. When the reality is, some days, if not MANY days, there is some crap. 

Maybe the key to smiling while we give our best is to shovel the crap aside and give our best anyways. 

One thing that will always strike me about Melissa? From the the outside looking in at her life, it looked like she had to deal with a lot of crap. But you know the one thing that NEVER made it look like Melissa was dealing with a lot of crap - Melissa. 

I think that's what happens when you get to watch someone who is joyfully giving her best to every day. It makes it really difficult to see if they are dealing with crap or gold. 

I want to be more like that. 

Based on our conversations last night, I think a lot of people want to be more like that. 

The good news is we don't have to wait around to start. There is today. And today will have crap or gold or both. Who knows. The only thing we truly control is how much of ourselves we give to this day. 

I went to bed last night feeling like people deeply admire someone who gives it all.   

I know I do....