Keeping Promises and Commitments are two different things

​Commitment.

Commitment has never been my strength. I own that. Maybe because I've never considered much what commitment really is.

I think sometimes we confuse keeping promises to something with being committed to that something. Maybe it's possible to keep promises to something you're not really committed to? And maybe it gets painfully hard to continue keeping promises the longer you keep a promise you were never committed to?

I don't know.

But I think there are a lot of unhappy people in the world honoring promises they never got committed to keeping. They carry the burden of keeping their word to do something while never truly coming to know and embrace this something they've committed to do.

It's easy to imagine this situation in a relationship. But it extends beyond that. It extends to our jobs. It extends to our dreams and goals and projects. There are a lot of people who have taken on situations in life without ever deciding this is the situation I've committed to grow in, to discover joy and life and peace in.

Mark Manson says, "depth is where the gold is buried. And you have to stay committed to something and go deep to dig it up."

Too many of us promise to do something without deciding this is where I'm going to strike gold. We decide to do something all the while wondering, where is it that I will one day find my gold.

What if finding gold is more often a decision than a lucky strike? What if finding gold is deciding my gold is right here?

I have found gold in my writing. I not only promise to write each day, but I'm committed to it. I have decided that each time I sit down and write, I will find gold. And so I do find it.

Writing is more than honoring a promise, it's a commitment. So while I'm doing it I don't spend time wondering if my gold in life is somewhere else. I don't spend time wondering about anything else in life at all, really.

When I am writing, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.

I am committed to my relationship with God. I have not only promised God that I'm in this life thing with him, but I spend time each day trying to better know the God I'm committed to.

Knowing God better makes it easier to live up to my promise to him.

Here's the thing about writing and God and commitment. It feels like I am more than a promise to them as well. Writing and God both always leave me feeling like I'm not just something they keep their word to, I feel worthy of their time and word.

I think keeping promises can be a one way street, but honoring commitment starts to require two parts to work together. It requires both parts to believe there is gold to be found here.

Keeping promises isn't the best way to build meaning in a relationship. Not that it hurts. It just doesn't take relationships deeper.

Only believing there is gold beneath the promises can do that, and a shared commitment to keep digging for it.

I am grateful that writing seems to believe there is gold beneath our time together. I'm even more grateful that God seems to believe that about our time together. I am grateful for our two-way streets.

Maybe we all should take some time and reflect on that. What relationships do I have that are held together by promises, and which ones are held together by commitment?

Maybe some of those relationships are promises that need to be let go, and maybe some of them are worth considering a commitment to.

Life is full of gold, but more often than not, that gold is where we decide we're going to find it.

And then we get busy being committed to finding it.