Kindness changes the trajectory of life

​I watched the movie Groundhog Day for the umpteenth time last night. And maybe for the first time, I understood exactly what the movie was saying. Or at the very least, the movie said something to me it had never said before.

In the movie, Bill Murray's character - (Phil Connors) - gets stuck living the same day over and over. That day just happens to be Groundhog Day. And as the Groundhog Days begin to add up - as he lives the same day over and over - Connors becomes more depressed.

I always thought the depression came from the torture of being stuck in time. Being stuck in time in a cold and dreary Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.

Last night it hit me - that wasn't the cause of Connors' torture at all. Connors' real torture was being stuck living life as a cold and dreary Connors.

He was arrogant. He saw himself as God - “I make the weather,” he said in the middle of a crippling snowstorm. This made it easy for him to treat everyone around him like they were less than him.

Then, driven mainly by the desire to win the heart of a girl (Rita) who was as humble and kind as he was arrogant, he discovered this re-living the same day thing was an opportunity to change the way he lived his days.

He started treating people the way he saw Rita treat people.

Earlier this week, I wrote about the difference between kindness and being nice. I said nice is something we do, kindness is someone we are. Well, little did I know, I'd actually be watching that play out
a few days later in the movie Groundhog Day.

Because for the man to win the girl, the man had to start acting nice to win the girl who'd always been kind.

But an unexpected thing happened. The man started liking who he was when he was acting nice. And his motives became more about becoming a kind person than winning the heart of one.

Thankfully, as movies go, in the end - he did get the girl. Not because he won, but because of who he'd become.

There was something far more important than winning the girl, though. Connors got to resume life - no longer stuck in Groundhog Day. He got to resume it as a new man - one he liked being far more than the one who came to Groundhog Day.

The pastor I heard preach on kindness last week said, "kindness changes the trajectory of life."

I think we can all get to feeling stuck sometimes. Like maybe we are living the same day over and over. The movie last night helped me wonder if maybe it's not us who get stuck in time, but our hearts. Maybe the way to stop feeling like we are living the same day over and over is to change the way our hearts see those days - and maybe, just maybe - influence the way others see theirs.

Andie MacDowell (Rita) said, for a movie about kindness, it was writer Harold Ramis’ spirit that influenced “Groundhog Day’s” charm. She described him as “the nicest man” she’s ever worked with, always in a good mood and never grumpy. And she hopes that kindness rubs off on anyone who watches “Groundhog Day,” even decades later.

What she was saying was she hopes kindness will change the trajectory of someone's life. It sure worked in the movie.

Maybe we can all come together and make it work in real life.