Learning To Celebrate Saying No

​I woke up in the middle of the night with a thought: "Glad I didn't do it".

It arrived as one of those thoughts I often get that refuses to let me go back to sleep until I pay it a little attention (and quite often end up giving it more attention here with you).

But as I lay there it felt a bit strange to be celebrating NOT doing something. That's because our brains are much more wired to celebrate actually doing something.

Our brains love it - they reward us - when we take the leap, send the message, chase the dream, buy the thing. There's a chemistry behind the feeling of accomplishment. We are built to seek that next dopamine hit of DOING something.

But I lay there wondering, is there another kind of celebration worth practicing - one that doesn't come naturally (unless it's coming to one in a middle of the night thought).

Because some of the most important moments of my life aren't the ones where I said yes, but the ones where I finally had the wisdom or grace or just plain exhaustion to say NO.

Glad I didn't send that text.

Glad I didn't defend myself in that argument.

Glad I didn't reach for that short term comfort I know would have had long term cost.

Those wins are quiet. They rarely come with applause or adrenaline. But they do come with something else, something that feels a lot like peace.

That's what I woke up with in the middle of the night accompanying that thought - peace.

Isn't it rare, though, that we stop and give thanks for the decisions that kept us out of trouble, out of shame and regret, out of self-inflicted chaos? Our world celebrates productivity, not pause. Action, not restraint. But sometimes the wisest thing we can do is nothing at all.

And then celebrate it.

A wild thought came to me in my late night ruminating - the acronym for "Glad I didn't do it" is GIDDI.

Maybe we all need to get a little more GIDDI (or giddy) over the things we are wise enough to say no to.

I think I've spent too much of my life waiting on the right moments, the moments that are easy to say YES to, the moments that are going to bring the thrill of victory and life happily ever after. The moments that will make my life fully giddy.

But I lay awake wondering last night if it isn't my frequent inability or unwillingness to say NO that is actually standing in the way of those YES moments.

I wondered if it's my not often enough saying "Glad I didn't do it" that is standing in my way of having a life that leaves me feeling fully thankful to be doing it.

Chance are you already know how to celebrate the choices you're glad you made. Maybe you need a little practice celebrating the choices you need to be glad you DIDN'T make?

GIDDI.

Just get a little bit more GIDDI.