Less May not be popular, but it can be more

​Seth Godin says in a talk about marketing, "Often, when we set out to do our work, we focus on popularity and breadth at the expense of the magic and singular experience that could create a favorite. Something we’d miss if it weren’t there."

That got me to wondering about relationships.

How relationships have largely become a count of the people who 'like' us and not a reflection of the people who would miss us if we weren't in their personal collection of likes.

To be popular only requires us to do popular things. To be missed - well that requires us to pour into a life something that very life couldn't be without us.

To be popular provides something most anyone can provide. To be missed provides something only we can provide.

I have people I miss. I don't feel less popular without them; I feel less whole.

It's a sad dichotomy, really. That we may be living in a time when there is unparalleled personal popularity at the same time that there is unprecedented loneliness.

People are seen more than ever, but feel as unseen as they've ever felt.

We see more hands waving, but less hands are being held.

We see more smiles flashing, while more people roam the world searching for their own smile.

We see more people claiming everyone, while having no one to truly claim as their own.

No one to miss. No one to notice that they are gone.

The circles keep getting bigger. The saddest part isn't that they are indeed getting bigger, but that bigger circles seems to be the ultimate goal.

I think we need smaller circles. I'm sure we do. I think THAT should be the goal. Circles so small that if they somehow broke, we'd miss that circle.

We'd miss it in a way that would make it very difficult to simply step into another circle.

Maybe a bigger circle.

A circle where you might very well be liked, but unnoticed if you disappeared.

Less can be more.

It may not be popular, but it can be more.