Let's Meet At Who We Are, Not at What We believe

As part of the training I lead this week, I asked two colleagues to lead an activity for the group. I gave them a little direction in terms of what I hoped the activity would accomplish, but the rest was up to them.

What they came up with was more than an accomplishment. It was one of the most beautiful and impactful work or life experiences I've had the chance to participate in.

The first few stages of the activity were all about making the group more curious about one another. Those stages lead up to the concluding activity that will live with me forever.

In this final activity, we broke into smaller groups of 4 people. The groups then went somewhere in the park and talked about a memory or some part of their life they were more aware of as a result of their surroundings.

My group settled into rocking chairs on the front porch of a building overlooking the lake.

One person in my group talked about how rocking chairs reminded her of how peaceful life is when her and her family slows down and sits on their porch at home and just rocks.

Another shared memories of working in a garden with her grandmother.

Another talked about growing up on that very lake we were looking at. It reminded her of just how beautiful her childhood was.

I myself talked about how the woods feel like home without me ever having to call the woods home.

After a half hour of sharing stories with one another, the four group members then picked a partner for the final piece of the activity.

The whole group gathered back together. We sat in a big circle - all 20 of us. And we introduced ourselves as our partner. We introduced ourselves as our partner's story. And for at least a moment, we WERE someone else's story.

So there I was - introducing myself as a young lady who grew up on the lake. Smiling about the idea that everyone around me was actually visiting a part of my childhood home.

As others introduced themselves as someone else's story, there were tears and smiles and laughter - and even hugs. It was literally a circle full of life: all walks of life - all emotions of life. An no one in the circle seemed to be wishing they were anywhere else in life at that moment.

As part of the activity, we had to draw our partner's story on a blank puzzle piece. When the circle was over, the puzzle was put together with all of our stories. We were literally forever connected by our stories. I've never walked away from a training with a more meaningful gift.

When the activity was over, I made a couple of personal observations. One, the activity felt very awkward at times in the beginning. Connection IS awkward sometimes. It's why we often choose superficial conversation. It's why we often find it easier to find ways to disconnect.

But when you finally enter into a place of getting to know who someone is - there's something beautiful about that. Even comfortable.

I also expressed doubt that we would have ever gotten to that place if we had started with "what or who do you believe in" or "where do you stand on this or that issue."

It's more likely that would have been a circle of elbow throwing than hugs and smiles. And love.

There is something amazing that can happen in life when we put curiosity about someone else's story before our instinct to judge where someone else fits within the framework of our own stories without knowing theirs at all.

I assured the group that many of them probably think and believe very differently about some things than I do. But none of those differences could break the connection we formed.

Because those connections formed at who we are, not at what we believe.