Listening is the avenue to growing a relationship

​When I read that quote from Andy Stanley this morning, "leaders who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say" - my first thought was - "PEOPLE who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say."

But then I took it one step further. I thought, relationships between people who don't listen will eventually become relationships in which people have nothing to say.

To speak and not be heard - that is a dream killer. It's a pathway to hopelessness. And eventually loneliness. Sometimes the best cure for that is silence.

Some people suggest laughter is contagious. I would suggest it's not as contagious as silence. Silence can become a place every bit as comforting - in some cases more so - than laughter.

Andy Stanely leads a large church. It's absolutely in his best interest to hear from his people - to listen to them. It makes them feel included; it opens himself up to hearing ideas that might make him and his church better and stronger.

Job and sports managers - it's in their best interest to listen to the people they lead. It makes the people they lead feel included; it opens managers up to hearing ideas that might make them better managers.

Spouses and friends and family - it's in our best interest to listen to the people we are in relationships with. It makes the people in our relationships feel included - and wanted - it opens us up to hearing things that might make us better people.

It opens us up to the only avenue to growing a relationship and not watching it fizzle away in silence.

Because silence is contagious. At first it fills the void of nothing to say. Then it becomes this space where there's no desire to say anything at all.

Listening on the other hand, there is no better way to fill a void. Listening will always ensure that someone will always have something to say.