listening is the result

​"But the listening is the result...."

If God could grant me a superpower I'd wan't to be able to get the whole world to adopt that message. Listening is the result.

As I present and speak and train on the power of relationships, I often say very few people get to experience that power because we're not really good at them. Most audiences nod together in agreement.

At the heart of our relational incompetency is we aren't great listeners. And at the heart of that, I think, is two things.

One - I think we get so caught up in our own worlds that we lose curiosity about someone else's world. Without curiosity there is no need for listening.

And two - I think we grossly underestimate the power in listening. We can become so driven to just do something that listening can feel inadequate. We can skip the step of curiosity and jump right to advising and counseling - or worse - judging.

Maybe if we truly understood how many people long to say "I feel heard" - we'd get more committed to listening.

Maybe if we ever felt the connection that comes with silently sitting next to someone as they release words and emotions long trapped and hidden, we'd be more compelled to receive connection with our ears than trying to force it with our mouths.

I think sometimes we see listening as a step that stands in the way of - it delays - the chance to get to work.

The reality is, listening often IS the work. Listening often is the first and the last step.

Listening IS the result.