love has a defintion

I did a presentation yesterday about 'the help that helps.' Basically, the presentation says this:

Research shows that people who have experienced tons of crap in their lives, yet have people in their lives who care for them - these people - health-wise - are actually mentally and physically better off than people who have lived relatively crapless lives but have no one they can depend on.

In summary, at least MY summary, this says love is the great equalizer.

When people know they have someone who is going to show up and hold them for who they are - no matter where they are - where they've been and what they've been through becomes less burdensome.

More and more this makes sense to me. Because more and more, when I talk to people, I come to believe what we are all looking for at our core is to have our burdens eased. At some level I think we all pursue this every day.

It's how ALL of our journeys began. We emerged from the womb into a chaotic world and immediately began looking to have our burdens eased. And where did we look?

We looked toward SOMEBODY. We looked for some ONE to show up and hold us right where we were.

I think our burdens in life begin to become more burdensome when we start looking for some THING to ease those burdens and not some one. I believe we start looking for some THING when we no longer know who our some ONE is.

Too often I think we believe love doesn't have a definition. We believe that love isn't learned.

But love does have a definition - in the earliest seconds of our life love gets defined as someone showing up and meeting us where we are, no matter how distressed we are.

Love is learned - if someone shows up for us - we feel loved. If someone doesn't show up for us - we don't feel loved. In many cases, we go on to love the way we've been loved.

Not only does my biology support the idea that love is someone showing up and loving me just where I am for just who I am, my faith supports it too.

In the book of Matthew, Jesus is talking about welcoming people into heaven. He's telling them about the beautiful inheritence they are about to receive because of all the times they showed up to feed him when he was hungry, gave him clothes when he didn't have any, invited him to hang out with them when he felt friendless- they even visited him in prison.

Someone says, well Jesus, I never even met you - how did I even do any of those things for you?

And Jesus said, basically - any time you eased the burdens of someone else, you eased my burdens.

Our biology and my faith are in alignment.

We come into this world wired to need love to ease our burdens. The God who created us says we have no greater mandate on this earth than to ease one another's burdens.

I think we miss that some days. I think we go against our biology - maybe some of us are going against our faith - when we look to some THING in life instead of some ONE to ease our burdens.

I think we miss that some days - when we walk by the burdened - when we walk by opportunities to love and we don't love.

Because love does have a definition - it was defined for us in the earliest seconds of our lives.

It's seeing someone for who they are and holding them in that place.

Love is the great equalizer. It has a definition. It's just looking for a world more committed to leaning on it to ease one another's burdens.