Love Wins, But sometimes hate is the way there

​I remember the first time one of my boys told me they hated me. I told them, hey, you don't know me well enough yet to hate me. 🤷‍♂️ Then I promptly offered up the mandatory parenting sermon on why we don't hate anyone.

I stand by that sermon. I don't think hating people is a good thing. But I think we can be so dedicated to our 'don't hate people' sermons that we forget hate can have a healthy place in our lives.

I used to drink too much. It was a problem. I hated what it did to me and who it made me, but I loved how it made me feel for brief moments in time. When I finally changed, it was because I hated what I hated more than I loved what I loved.

Years ago, I took up running. I didn't much enjoy it. Many days I still don't. But I did it often enough that eventually I grew to hate the feeling I had when I skipped my running more than hated any of the feelings I experienced while I ran.

These days, I'm trying to lose a few pounds. I know the devil in that pursuit is carbohydrates. Always has been. The problem is - I love them. But I hate how callous those carbs can be toward my desire to feel a little more freedom in my pants.

I know I'll start dropping weight when hate finally wins.

There are bigger picture applications to this idea as well.

A few years ago, I went to Honduras with Soles4Souls. I went there to help the organization fight poverty because I genuinely love people. Fighting poverty seemed like a loving thing to do. Even if - I'm being honest - back then my actions and advocacy weren't always in line with someone committed to fighting poverty.

I've been more committed to that fight since returning from that trip. And when I go back there in August, this time it will be because I hate that people I love have to live in poverty more than it will be out of a general love for people.

It's Monday. And with Monday often comes the commitment that this will be the week. This will be the week I change this or that in my life.

I want to encourage you. Don't focus on how much you know you'll love the feeling you'll have - the you you'll be - when you make that change.

Focus on how much you hate how it feels when you don't make that change. Focus on how much you hate the thought of coming back here next Monday loving the idea of making that same old change you still haven't made.

I do believe love wins. But sometimes, doing the loving thing for ourselves and for one another, sometimes that starts with a healthy dose of hate.

I never thought I'd come here on a Monday encouraging you to hate. But here I am. Spend a little time this week focusing on something you hate. And then change it.