Making The World Safe Enough To Share Our Words

​I have heard it said that "actions speak louder than words". Maybe it's the writer in me that feels a bit of angst when I hear that.

At an event I attended this week, one of the day's themes centered on collecting words. When we heard or experienced something that resonated with us, we wrote a word down in the journal we'd been given in the opening session to hold a space for that moment.

To close the event, we put our names on a name tag along with one of the words we'd captured during the day. We walked around the room, discussing with other attendees why we chose the word on our name tags.

Those conversations were priceless. In a brief two minute conversation you got a glimpse into someone's heart. You got to experience the day's event through their eyes. Their words suddenly added meaning to the words you'd collected throughout the day.

In so many ways, the world is an intersection of the words we share. Conversation is an intersection. A crossing point. A place where two separate experiences briefly overlap and, if we’re paying attention, expand.

But there’s another side to that.

If words are how we meet, then silence is often where we don’t. And maybe one of the times actions truly speak louder than words is when someone chooses not to speak at all. Not because they have nothing to say, but because it doesn’t feel safe enough to say it.

Because being misunderstood feels riskier than being unseen.

Because past experience has taught them that their words won’t be held with care.

Because somewhere along the way, they learned that silence protects.

I have experienced deep silence in relationships; today I know better than ever that the action of not talking was accompanied by a painful desire to do just that - talk.

When you walk around a room sharing your words with relative strangers, and they share theirs, and you feel the bonds that start to form - you discover - or maybe rediscover - the power of words.

I do believe actions are important. But maybe one of the most important actions we can all take is ensuring everyone feels safe enough to share their words.