My Life Is Up and down, but god is not

​I didn't recognize it, but for years the strength of my faith was connected to the success of my plans. When life was going according to plan - MY plan - I would shout God's praises. If it wasn't, God was nowhere to be found.

When God is nowhere to be found, it's NOT because God isn't there, it's because I'm not looking for him.

I'm not entirely sure why my faith operated that way. Maybe I pictured God as a success story, so when my plans succeeded, I felt comfortable inviting God to the celebration. But when they weren't successful, I made sure God didn't get associated with my failure.

It's also possible that when my plans failed, I saw myself as a failure, and I was fearful of God seeing me that way too.

Today, I know better than ever that God is not success and God is not failure - God is God. When I made God a function of my plans, I made me God.

When my plans worked out - I thanked God for helping out. When my plans failed - I pretended God was out of town while the ship went down. Good or bad, life was always my fault. And either way, I was always bigger than God.

That made for a really small God.

Steven Furtick says, "I need the kind of faith that is not dependent on my own plans to prevail. I need the kind of faith that can stand up against the worst thing that happens."

One way I would describe the last few years of my life is sinking ships. Another way I would describe them is: big God.

At some point, when one of my ships was sinking, I took a chance and gave God a call. And surprise surprise, he wasn't out of town after all. In fact, he told me he was glad I called. He'd grown weary of watching me go down with my ships.

When we call God while the ship is sinking, we eventually discover God is not a life preserver, God is life.

God is life in every season. In dark and in light, in success and in failure. Our lives often go up and down, which makes it easy to start believing God goes up and down.

God doesn't go up and down. God is always life.

With a single breath He created life. With every single breath we take in response to our creation, God is reminding us he is STILL life.

When we lose sight of that truth, it's often because we've made our plans our God. It's often because we've made ourselves God. That makes for a really small God; one completely unable to stand up against sinking ships.