often the blessings are found in the wrestling, not after it

​There's a story in Genesis about two brothers - Esau and Jacob. Jacob steals Esau's birthright and then spends 20 years hiding from him, fearing retribution.

Then one day Jacob decides to go home.

As the two brothers prepare to meet, Jacob is obviously a little uneasy about it. The night before their meeting, Jacob is alone and ends up in a wrestling match with a strange man.

Turns out the man was God.

In reading that story this morning, a part of the story hit me like it had never hit me before (Gensis 32:24-26):

So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

This morning is the first time it really hit me that long after Jacob could no longer physically wrestle with God, he kept clinging to Him. God had to tell him, you can let go now...

I suppose one way or another I've been wrestling with God most of my life. But never more than I have this past year.

The year of COVID, the year of losing a friendship that meant a lot to me, the year of losing a marriage, the year of a job going from looking like something I love to looking like the living room in my apartment, the year running races with lots of people turned to running through empty streets all alone.

Oh, be sure, there has been some wrestling with God this year.

I need to say, before I go further, there's a difference between wrestling WITH God and fighting AGAINST him.

In my teens and twenties - I fought God. I wanted him out of my life. But this past year, I've been wrestling with him. Like Jacob, even when I was injured in that wrestling match, I've kept clinging to God.

Clinging and clinging.

You know, when God told Jacob to let go, Jacob said I'm not letting go until you bless me. And then this beautiful scene takes place. Like something out of a movie.

God looks at Jacob and asks, what's your name.

And he told him, my name is Jacob.

Then God says, well, today I'm changing your name to Israel, "because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

Oh, how that story fills me with hope.

Jacob went into that wrestling match full of anxiety. He's been twenty years on the run. He's ready to meet a brother that he's convinced wants to kill him.

But then God tells him to let go. Let go of me and listen, he says.

You ARE an overcomer.

You are Israel.

Talk about the pep talk of all pep talks.

Maybe you're like me this morning, and you're wrestling with God. Maybe you're saying, God, I'm not letting go until you bless me, until you help me see all of this is going to get better.

Maybe you need to hear God say, let me go, it's daybreak. It's daybreak and I've got your back and I'm changing your name just so you know it.

I've wrestled with God more than I ever have this past year. The thing is, because I've clung so tightly to him night after night, I feel closer to him than I've ever been.

Too often we're trying to wrestle blessings out of God that he's already given us. Sometimes we just have to let go of him long enough to step back so he can reveal them to us.

Long enough to step back and away from him and listen to him tell us, you're an overcomer.

You're an overcomer and you've got this day, so go meet your brother. Go celebrate a beautiful reunion.

Go win this day.