our lack of faith challenges gods integrity

​I've believed in God for as long as I can remember. Belief in God is to 'feel sure about the truth' of God.

I'm not as sure about my faith in God. Faith in God is having 'complete trust or confidence' in God.

I found myself wondering if that makes much difference to God. Does he care if I don't completely trust him as long as I know he is God?

In my wondering, I asked myself if it would make any difference to me. Would it make a difference to me if my two boys believed I was their dad, but they didn't have complete trust or confidence I would be there for them in the ways I've said I'll be there for them?

The answer is yes. In fact, being their dad would mean nothing to me if they were sure I was their dad but unsure if I'd be there for them when they needed me.

I'd feel like my integrity was being challenged.

It's made me not take so lightly the challenges in my life I try to take on without leaning on God. It's made me not take so lightly the days I find myself wondering if this is all going to turn out OK. It's made me not take so lightly the fact that God has shown up in every dark place in my life with light, and I have no reason to doubt that he will do it again.

It's made me stop saying I have questionable faith and start saying God feels like I'm questioning him - and as a father of children myself, I don't think that's a great feeling for God.

As I was walking through the woods yesterday, the trees and the rocks and the wildlife reminded me - I have always believed those were God. I have never doubted that.

Walking through those same woods, I spent some time reflecting on the wilderness periods in my life. And how if I just spend a little time thinking about them, I can be equally sure God has always been there too. Because he has.

When I realize that, I know I don't have reason to challenge God's integrity.

I know I have every reason to believe this is going to be OK.