Our narratives and habits are always trying to be right

​Last night, I had dinner with my friend Solomon MOrris Whitfield. These every other week or so dinners at Olive Garden have become affectionately known as our "Olive Garden Chats" - as much as others might see them as our breadstick eating contests🤷‍♂️

These chats have deepened our friendship. A friendship I look forward to spending time inside more than I look forward to the pasta - which is saying a lot for this carb addict.

These chats - this deepening friendship - if they have a theme, I believe it's two guys trying to become their best selves.

Solomon has helped me come to believe that if we are ever going to become our best selves, we need someone in our lives - in our corner - as committed to us becoming that best someone as we are. Maybe even more committed.

That's because there are powerful forces in life working against our desire to be better. As Seth Godin says this morning, we all have habits in our lives, and we are telling ourselves stories based on those habits - and those stories and habits - they are always working to convince us this is the REAL you.

Solomon gave up drinking over four months ago. He had come to believe the stories that the alcohol and his alcohol habit were telling him - which, simply put, was that he and life weren't much good without the drinking.

This past weekend, Solomon ran a hundred mile race in West Virginia. He not only ran it, but he ran it well. He finished second place among a group of good runners who've spent a lot of time running long distances.

Eating last night, he told me that was as good as he's felt as a runner in one of those endurance events. Don't confuse that with it was "easy" - but mentally and physically he just felt stronger.

You know, Godin says in his article this morning that "we organize our lives to maintain the pressures and boundaries we’re used to. We’d like to pretend we’re just going to bear with it until we get through this urgency, but we’re usually lying to ourselves."

When I think about our chats - and how we've leaned on each other - and at times pushed each other - I think the hours of conversations boil down to one long-winded encouragement for both of us to quit lying to ourselves. We've encouraged each other to quit believing "when the right time comes" we'll organize our lives in a healthier way - we'll quit listening to the old habits and stories and start forming new ones that tell a better story.

I think the reason Solomon felt so strong this weekend was because life was telling him out there - unconditionally - you are a runner. There were no competing stories or habits telling him you're a drunk - you're not cut out to run with this group.

Solomon was out there running with the right habits and the right stories pacing him.

What pressures and boundaries have you been enduring in your life - telling yourself just a little more time - I can endure this just a little longer and then it will all change? And how long have you been telling yourself that?

Our habits and stories are always fighting to be right in our lives. So it's up to us to decide which habits and which stories get to have the loudest voices. It's up to us to grow tired of "someday" and decide "this is the day."

Because this CAN be the day....