Pain is a what question, not a why question

​I've experienced a fair amount of pain in my life. I'd say I'm better with pain today than I've ever been. Not because I like it more. Or I'm more insensitive to it. I've just come to see it differently.

Pain used to confuse me. I'd find myself asking, why did that have to happen? Through wisdom, though, I've discovered I was asking the wrong question.

Pain isn't a WHY question, it's a WHAT question.

Donald Miller says pain can serve a purpose if we cause it to. He says, "we can choose to take unfair or undue pain and cause it to serve our own story so that we transform."

So I'm sure Miller would tell me the right question about pain isn't why are you here, but what am I going to do with you.

For years, when I was asking pain why are you here, I'd actually answer for pain. My answers were - because I deserve it - or because life is unfair. Or sometimes I'd answer more nobly, like at least no one else will have to carry this pain; I'm carrying it for them.

The result of those answers was me living with the pain. Me accepting it as some kind of punishment. It was me saying, pain - you win. Have your way.

Those aren't my answers today, because today I don't ask why. I ask what.

What am I going to do with this pain? What am I going to make with it.

Because pain, like happiness, is an ingredient of our lives. We have an easier time making something out of happiness because we aren't sitting around asking happiness why are you here. We don't wrestle with do I deserve this or not.

We just act on it.

Pain requires us to stop and think. It requires us to purposely decide to take captive the WHY question and make it a WHAT question. When we make THAT transformation - WE transform.

To be clear, when we cause our pain to make a difference in our lives, or a difference in the world - when we use it as fuel to tell a story or build a business or go on a mission trip or volunteer at a local shelter - when we use our pain to transform ourselves and the world - the pain doesn't just disappear.

But pain does feel different when we decide to be in charge of it.

Pain does feel different when we stop - we look pain in the eyes and say, hmmm - what shall I make of you?

I know it's not as easy as I make it sound. Pain never is. But with pain, we will always be invited to ask a question. Every time.

So why not get in the habit of asking what and not why.

It's Monday. There will be a challenge coming your way this week. Look at it. Stare it in the eyes and ask, what shall I make of you.....?