purpose doesn't eliminate pain, it makes it worth it.

​For the past few years, I've watched my friend Rachel Wood pursue a doctorate in nursing. This, while being a wife and a mom and a professional who stays active and fit outside of all of those responsibilities. I'm a guy who nearly got tripped up by a 4-year bachelor's degree when I had not one other real responsibility in life.

So I've marveled at her determination.

It hasn't always been easy. Rachel and I regularly grab lunch to cheer each other on. There were many lunches when Rachel was struggling to balance it all - to make sense of the many buckets in life she was carrying. I never had good answers for any of it. The only thing I knew to do was to keep pointing her toward her purpose.

Yesterday, I got to watch Rachel defend her dissertation via zoom. I'm not sure why I expected more of a courtroom experience - people trying to find her guilty of something. Maybe I've watched too many Netflix shows. But what I saw was a room full of people awed and amazed and excited about the possibilities of her study.

Rachel's presentation was on "The Unseen Wellbeing Dilemma: Nurse Loneliness." Her grand hope for this presentation is that more resources will go to fostering the quantity and quality of connections that our nurses have - social and professional. Without them, she's demonstrated, nurses burn out.

One of the committee members asked Rachel if her study might have applications beyond the nursing profession. I've written here many times that I think the greatest epidemic we face as a country - in the middle of a bunch of epidemics - is a loneliness epidemic.

I knew the answer that was coming. We've discussed it often. Yes, Rachel said. There are broader applications.

In those questions, and in that answer, I could see her purpose coming alive. I saw it come alive when they introduced Dr. Rachel Wood for the first time. Her journey there wasn't always painless - there were tons of sacrifices - but it was a journey that was always on purpose.

A journey always pointed TO purpose. A purpose she was suddenly standing in.

There are some pains in life that come at us on accident. Many illnesses come to mind.

But there are many pains we experience in life because we have no idea where we are going. We have no idea what we want. We make painful choice after painful choice that add up to a painful existence. So much of that pain isn't because of the choices, it's because we have no idea what we want those choices to add up to.

Painful choices that have no purpose equals pain. Painful choices that do have a purpose equals worth it.

We are all experiencing pain in life. The big difference is some of us are simply experiencing pain. Some of us are saying it's worth it because I know where I'm going. I know who I want to be.

It's April Fool's Day. The most foolish thing you can do today is to continue living life without any idea where you want your life to go. That's a recipe for pain.

I'm proud of my friend Rachel. She's experienced a lot of pain the last few years. But I saw her kids taking pictures of her yesterday when they announced "Dr. Rachel Wood." I watched doctors and peers alike celebrating her. I saw a glimmer of hope in this loneliness epidemic.

I saw pain that was very well worth it.